Urusei Yatsura: Eternal Destiny
by UruseiNeo
Summary: What is the plot? Well, that depend on the chapter! This story is episodic. Each chapter is its own plot just like an episode, with a few two parters, and continues after the anime ends. Not the Manga, the Anime
1. A New Friend! Cam the Camera!

--A man is sitting on a chair looking straight at camera view. "Hey, my name is… well that's not really important. Today is my first day at my new job as being the camera man for this new show. I will be going around and filming our main characters of Tomobiki Periodically, a character will talk to the camera to express their thoughts and opinions. You will NOT hear me talking during this show. The only time you will see me is once at the beginning of the show, like now, and once at the end. Now it says here that I should be focusing on a… Ataru Moroboshi. Alright then, I hope you enjoy our first show," the man says.--

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_taihen da! da! da! _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Itsudatte daite ii no ni. _

_Aa achikochi ni baramaite _

_watashi o nayamaseru wa. _

_Koi wa itsumo futari no mono. _

_Yume wa hitotsu Love me more. _

_Soo yo koi wa futari no mono. _

_Owari no nai Love me more. _

Camera view of panning the classroom. The teacher looks irritated. All students are in uniform. One of the students in the classroom is smiling trying to get attention from the camera.

--"Hi! My name is Moroboshi, Ataru" Ataru says, sitting on a chair outside the classroom. "So you're the guy who's going to be filming a show of us, right? That's neat. Don't mind Onsen-Mark, he's always angry like that. So… how much does your job pay?"--

Classroom

"Ahem… well, let's get on with the class… Mendou, please read line 14," Osen-Mark says. One of the male students, the only one not in unfirom, stands up and begins to read. "Which way to Tomobiki Station?" he begins.

--"Mendou, Shutaro of the rich Mendou clan. I think it would be important to state to my fans that I have no connection with Moroboshi what so ever. Moroboshi is the lowest of the low. Everyday he goes out and chases after women trying to get their address and phone numbers but to no success. I, on the other hand, have much more respect for the female species" Mendou says as he sits in a chair outside the classroom. He shows a rich smile at the camera.--

Classroom

The lunch bell rings. Most of the students are out of their seats and standing around the classroom talking to other students. A green haired girl walks over to Ataru. "Darling, let's have lunch together," she says, smiling. "Ryuu-chan, how about a date?" Ataru asks another student in a male's uniform. "Darling!" the girl yells as she starts floating. At this point, the camera seems to have fallen to the floor. "I guess Cam is… surprised by your powers, Lum…" Ataru says as he bends down to look into the camera. He smiles and makes a V sign with his hand.

--"My name is Lum," Lum says as she floats outside in the hall. "I'm an alien from the planet Oniboshi and for the past 2 years I've been living here on earth with Darling. Darling and I are a married couple and--" Lum starts as Ataru barges through the classroom door. "Would you stop telling people that?! We're not married!" Ataru says. Lum quickly angers and starts charging with electricity. "Darling!!" she yells as she starts electrocuting Ataru. 'Cam' turns around and starts following a student with a perm. "What do you want?" he asks.--

Outside the School

Four male students are hanging around in a group, one of them the student with the perm. "It's almost been two whole years since Miss Lum arrived on earth…" the one with glasses says. He appeared to be the group leader of the four. "As leader of Miss Lum's Storm Troopers, I believe it's time we start planning another celebration party like last year's, only this time make sure Ataru isn't invited," he continued. "Megane, you know that Lum won't come knowing that Ataru is not there with us," the small one says. "Chibi is right… Alright then, Perm, I'll put you in charge of making sure Ataru doesn't screw this party up," Megane says. Mendou walks in on their conversation. "So, you four are planning a two year anniversary party for Miss Lum," Mendou says. "Yes, and why do you ask?" Perm asks. "If it is for Miss Lum then I'll be happy to donate a small amount of money into the funds for this party," Mendou says with a smile on his face. Megane smiles in return. "Darling!" Lum calls. She appears to be flying around, looking for him. Lum flies over to the group. "Have any of you seen Darling?" Lum asks. The five shake their heads. "Ooo… I bet he's off on one of his girl hunts again…" Lum says as she gets angry. She flies off. "Pst!" someone whispers. Ataru is hiding behind one of the bushes, waving Cam over. "While the Oni's away, the mice will play," Ataru says with a smile. Ataru begins to laugh in a freakish way.

_Pa Pa Pajama Jama Da! _

**--**

_Tonogata Gomen Asobase. _

Streets

Ataru is walking along the side of the street. "So, Cam, I guess I should explain a little bit of what goes on around here," he says. "First off, Lum and I are most certainly NOT married. She forced her way into my life and I've been living in hell ever since… You haven't even begun to see the strangeness of our little town here…" he continues. He looks around. "Tell you what, I'll give you exclusive info on all the important people around here if you help me with one little thing…" Ataru says before he begins to laugh in that freakish way again. He walks up to a completely random woman. "Excuse me, Miss, how would you like to be apart of our TV show?" Ataru says with a huge smile. "TV show?" the woman asks. "Yeah, yeah, see? We have our camera man right over there," Ataru says as he points at the camera. "I've always wanted to be on TV!" the woman says with a smile. "Good, good, I just need your address and phone number," Ataru says as he pulls out a small black book and a pen. "My address and phone number? Why would you need-" the woman starts. "Darling!!" Lum calls from the sky. She shoots lightning down at Ataru, which he runs from. "She found us! Run!" Ataru calls as he runs down the street. Lum flies down and chases after Ataru. "Darling, this is unforgivable!" she yells as she attacks him with lightning. "Those two are the strangest couple you will ever see…" a girl's voice says. Turning the camera view around reveals one of the girls from the school. "I'm Shinobu. Allow me to explain their relation ship… basically Lum is dedicated to be with that pervert, Ataru, for the rest of her life but Ataru, on the other hand…" she starts as she strolls down the street. "Is dedicated to his "Girl-hunting." He's the most lecherous being in the universe and does whatever he can to get away from her but… for some reason Lum still stays with him, nobody can figure out why…" Shinobu says. Shinobu seems to be the first ordinary person seen today. Pretty soon the words "I love Shinobu!" are screamed repeatedly from someone further down the street. A large ugly man is revealed running straight towards Shinobu. "I love Shinobu! I love Shinobu!" he repeats as he gets nearly. Upon getting close to Shinobu, one punch and Shinobu sends him flying into the sky. "Damn… all men…" she says angrily.

School Halls

Megane and his friends are running up the stairs. "If we don't hurry, we're going to be late for class!" Chibi says as they run. Ataru stands in there way. "Move it!" Megane orders. "What's the rush to get to class? Don't you think it'd be more fun to skip out once in a while?" Ataru asks. "Only if you want to face Onsen-Mark when he finds out you skipped," Megane replies. They pass Ataru and head off to the class. "Lum went to the class too, which means I have a few hours off from her, hehehe…" Ataru begins to laugh again. "Let's see, who should we look for…? I know!" Ataru says as he begins to walk down the hallway. "First I'll introduce you to Nurse Sakura," Ataru says with a smile. An ugly faces appears in front of the camera. "I advise against that!" the face says. For some reason, there is an explosion. Ataru gets up. "Cherry! Why are you always popping up everywhere when you're not wanted?" Ataru asks. "I just wanted to let you know that going to Sakura's room will only bring you bad luck," Cherry replies. "YOU are bad luck!" Ataru says as he marches off.

--"That boy is the unluckiest person I have ever set my eyes on…" Cherry explains. "Sakura is also my niece and while she is this school's nurse, she is also a high priestess as am I a monk. Last time I checked, she was doing an exorcism…" Cherry continues. As he talks, Ataru's screaming can be heard coming from the nurse's room. "I wonder what affect it will have on Ataru Moroboshi who is like a magnet to evil spirits…" he continues.--

Just outside Nurse Sakura's Room

Ataru exits through the door and collapses. "Damn it… when I went in, there were a bunch spirits flying around and then they started attacking me!!" Ataru says in anger. The door burst open and a bunch of spirits flew through the door. A priestess comes running out yelling "Exorcise! Purify! Exorcise Purify!" and waving an enchanted item. Cherry joins in on the chanting too while Ataru runs off. Cam follows Ataru. "Alright, so maybe introducing the audience to Nurse Sakura first wasn't the best idea," Ataru says as he runs. "No worries, I know plenty of other women I can introduce. Closest one would be Ran-Chan," Ataru says as he smiles. Ataru stops outside one of the classroom doors. "I forgot… all classes are in session right now… I can't get caught now…" Ataru says. "Think… think… who's left… Ryuu-Chan, she's in class… Benten… Oyuki… Ryoko-Chan… everyone is out of reach…" Ataru says to himself. "And I can't go back to class now, this late in the period… Only one thing left to do… Time to go girl hunting!" Ataru calls with a smile. "Darling!" Lum's voice echoes through the halls. "Damn! When I didn't show up for class she must have gotten suspicious and came looking for me… I need to hide…" Ataru says. He opens the door to a janitor's closet and ducks in, closing the door behind him. Lum comes flying down the hallway. "Cam… Do you know where Darling is?" she asks. Her attention is drawn to the closet door. She opens the door to find Ataru hiding behind some brooms. "Darling! You were out girl hunting again werentcha!?" Lum yells. "No! I swear I didn't do anything!! Ask Cam! Cam, I didn't even leave the school right? Right?" Ataru asks as he slowly makes his way out of the closet. Cam does not answer as he isn't supposed to talk during filming. Lum latches onto Ataru's back. "Unforgivable!!" she calls as she electrocutes him.

--Cam sits in front of the camera. "Well, on my first day at the job I managed to attain the nickname 'Cam', almost get electrocuted by an alien Oni who shows an interest in the most perverted fellow I've ever met, get caught in a completely random explosion that appeared to be caused by the presence of a Monk? Nearly got trampled by spirits, and used as a pawn to help Ataru get phone numbers. I can think of three words that describe my day… What the HELL??"--

_Higure no machi wa usuku kirameki. _

_Donna otoko mo yasashiku mieru. _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Kimagure na koi ja nai no yo. _

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo! _

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban... _

_Anata ni aeba "Besame te Quiero." _

_Yozora ni step "Ame Usted." _

_Sugu yoake ga kuru. _

_Ai ga kiete yuku _

_Sugu hitori ni naru. _

_Tada sore ga kowai yo. _

_It's not just my imagination... _

_Filling me with anticipation... _

_Come on, give in to the temptation... _

_'Cuz I'm the one you really need! _

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_Taihen… taihen… taihen… _

_DA! DA! DA!_

Author's Notes: Those who read this story who also watch or have watched "The Office" might get a better understanding at this. Now, I REALLY need feedback on this first chapter and I won't be releasing any new chapters until I finish watching the rest of the series, for obvious reasons. I'm on episode 180/195 so it will only be another month or so.

If you have an episode idea that you would like to be written, feel free to tell me. So far we have about 18 episode ideas and we need about 3 or 4 more.


	2. Happy Brithday? Darling Won't Talk to Me

Just a side note, if you haven't figured it out yet, when paragraphs are in -- … -- it means that the character is doing a "talking head".

--Cam is standing outside a door in the school hallways. "Okay… so my first day on the job was… interesting… That was a few months ago, and since then I've been able to go around Tomobiki and get a good sense about what goes on," he says. He points to the door. "I was GOING TO show you the guy who does the editing but he freaking locked the door and won't let me in so…" he sighs. "Right… anyways, today is October 10th and that means the guards are gonna throw Lum's 2nd year anniversary on earth party. Let's get to it then," Cam says. --

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_taihen da! da! da! _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Itsudatte daite ii no ni. _

_Aa achikochi ni baramaite _

_watashi o nayamaseru wa. _

_Koi wa itsumo futari no mono. _

_Yume wa hitotsu Love me more. _

_Soo yo koi wa futari no mono. _

_Owari no nai Love me more. _

"Darling!" Lum calls. She chases Ataru down the hallway. "I don't want to go!" Ataru calls as he runs off.

--"Today marks two years since Lum came to earth and Megane is throwing another party… I still remember what happened last year…" Ataru says. --

-- "Darling said that his life had been miserable ever since I came to earth. After the party, I left to meet my dad because I had to fill out that stupid paper work that lets me stay on earth another year and Darling thought that I left him!" Lum says. She smiles. "He was so upset… it was funny cause when I got back, he acted like he didn't care," Lum says, still smiling. --

Hallways

Lum has caught Ataru. "Darling! Why dontcha want to come to my party?" Lum asks. "Same reason I didn't want to go last year!" Ataru yells as he is held on the ground. "I want you to be there, though. It's important for you to be there because it's my birth-" Lum stops talking. "It's your what?" Ataru asks. "Nothing!" Lum says as she lets go of Ataru. "Did you say that today is your birthday?" Ataru asks. "Umm…" Lum doesn't know how to answer. "Wait… why would your birthday just happen to fall on the day you came to earth?" Ataru asks.

-- "When my dad came to invade earth, he was doing it as a birthday present and if I won the tag race…" Lum says, looking down. "Earth would be given to… me…" she adds. "I avoided telling Darling that cause I thought he'd get mad at me…" she continues. --

Ataru stands up and walks away from Lum. Lum flies away, moping. The crackle of Megane's voice can be heard. "S-she – she was…" he starts. "Hey, Megane, now we won't have to worry about Ataru being at the party," Chibi points out. "That's right! We can have our party for Miss Lum and not worry about that Ataru ruining it like last year!" Megane says with delight.

Classroom

The bell signaling the end of the day rings and everyone begins getting their things ready to leave. Ataru is still silent and appears to be ignoring Lum. Megane walks up to Lum with the other three guards behind him. "Miss Lum, we have prepared a party in celebration of your second year here on earth," he says. Lum looks over at Ataru who is still ignoring her. Mendou quickly steps in. "Moroboshi won't be attending. Seeing as how you two appear to be having a fight right now, it would be awkward to invite him," he says. Lum looks at Mendou angrily. "What happens between me and Darling is none of your business!" she yells at him. She flies over to Ataru. "Darling…" she begins. Ataru readily ignores her and leaves the room. "Darling…" Lum says quietly. "Miss Lum… will you still attend the party?" Megane asks.

Café

Megane and friends, as well as Lum in her tiger-strips, are sitting at a table in the café. Megane raises his glass above the table. "A toast! Miss Lum has been on earth for exactly two years!" he calls. Everyone cheers their glass. "The best part about THIS party is that Ataru's not here to mess it up like last year," Megane notes. Lum looks sad after the last comment.

-- "I wanted Darling to be here… Right now he's mad at me and I don't know what I can do to get him to talk to me…" Lum says. --

Lum gets out of her seat. "What's the matter, Miss Lum?" Mendou asks. "I don't think I can enjoy this party if Darling isn't here…" she replies. "Miss Lum--" Megane starts. "Thank you all for the party," Lum says, showing a smile. She then leaves the café. Megane quickly angers. "Ataru… Even when you're not here you still ruin things for the rest of us!" he yells. "CURSE YOU ATARU!!" he calls, one foot on the table as he does so.

Outside the Moroboshi House

Lum just arrives at the door. Ataru opens it before she gets a chance to. "Darling!" Lum says, smiling. "Lum… You can't come inside…" Ataru says, with a serious face. "Why not?" Lum asks. "You just can't… Why don't you go back to your UFO?" Ataru suggests. He closes the door before hearing a response. "D-Darling… Why are you…" Lum says to herself.

_Pa Pa Pajama Jama Da! _

**--**

_Tonogata Gomen Asobase. _

Classroom

Shinobu is doing the after school cleaning. With her are three other female students.

-- "What? Are you serious? I guess I can understand why Ataru might be mad… celebrating one's birthday by invading a planet does seem pretty bad… but he won't even talk to her?" Shinobu asks. She continues cleaning. "I can't imagine Ataru being that cold…" she adds. --

Hallways

A group of girls are walking down the hallway. "Really? Lum and Darling are having a fight right now?" a girl with pink hair asks, smiling. "Ya, apparently Lum's birthday was celebrated by the invasion of the planet two years ago," a fellow female student responds. "Wow, I can't believe that," the girl responds, still smiling. Onsen-Mark walks in on them. "Hey! What are you three still doing here? It's after school hours," he asks. "Ran, wanted to come back to get something," one of the girls reply. "Really? What did you come back for?" Onsen-Mark asks the pink haired girl. "Ran wanted to get paper," she replies, smiling and referring to herself. "Paper?" Onsen-Mark appears confused.

-- "That girl is very strange… What would she need paper for?" Onsen-Mark asks. "Hey, are the rumors true? About Miss Lum and her… birthday?" he asks. --

Ran and the other two girls come out of a room carrying a large roll of paper. Shinobu passed them. "What are you three doing?" she asks. "You two go without me, I'll see you later," Ran says with a smile. "So why are you here?" she asks. "I had class cleaning today," Shinobu replies. She motions Shinobu to come closer. They go inside the room and Ran lightly closes the door behind them. Whispering is heard but it is not understandable except for the "What?", "That doesn't sound like Ataru!" and "Is he really doing that?" that is screamed by Shinobu's reaction. Shinobu and Ran exit the room. "When is this happening?" Shinobu asks. "Soon…" Ran replies, still smiling.

Streets

Up on the top of a very large pole, Lum sits, weeping. "Darling… You won't even speak to me… was what I did really that terrible?" she asks herself. She looks up. "Darling… after all this I haven't even said…" she starts. "I'm sorry…" she adds. (Music ends by now) A baby in a tiger stripped diaper slowly flies towards Lum from the sky. "Lum-Chan!" he calls. "Ten-Chan! What's wrong?" Lum asks. "That idiot, Ataru, wants to see you. He looks pretty mad, what's going on?" Ten asks. "I'll explain it to you after…" Lum replies, depressed. She slowly flies away and Ten follows.

Moroboshi House

Lum flies to the door. She seems hesitant to open it. Luckily, Ataru opens it first, from the inside. "Lum…" he says quietly. "Let's go into the living room," Ataru says, with a serious look on his face. Lum follows him inside. Upon entering, as they turned the corner, about 20 people are already in there. "Surprise!!" they call. Lum looks very confused. Among the people are Shinobu, Ran, Megane, the rest of the guards, Mendou, and some other friendly faces. "What's going on?" Lum asks, still confused. "It looks like your friends planned a surprise birthday party for you. That's really too bad. If I were to get mad at you now I would look like a pretty bad person," Ataru answers, still with that serious look on his face.

Party has begun

"Wow, Ran! You made the banner?" Lum asks, looking at a long paper banner on the wall that reads 'Happy Birthday Lum!' on it. "I helped too," Shinobu buts in. "I'm so surprised, I never expected to receive a birthday party considering what's been going on lately," Lum says, smiling. Mendou walks into the conversation. "Well when Moroboshi told us it was your birthday and suggested the surprise party we didn't have a choice but to—" Mendou starts. "Darling organized this?" Lum interrupts. "He called in as many of us as he could who would be able to come in on such short notice," Ran explains. "I didn't even hear about it until Ran told me because I hadn't gotten home yet," Shinobu explains. "We got our messages after you left our party," Megane says as he and the guards walk in on them. "Darling…" Lum quietly says, smiling.

Ataru is standing in the crowd of people when Lum walks over to him. "Lum, I guess I should say happy birthday," he says. Lum smiles and then puts her arms around him to hug him. "Darling..." she says softly as she looks at him. She leans in to kiss him but he lightly pushes her back. "C'mon, Darling, it's my birthday…" Lum complains. "Well if that's the rule then for my birthday, I want to be free to go girl-hunting all day and if possible I would like—" Ataru starts with a grin on his face. Lum lightly slaps him on the head. "Those are two completely different things and you know it," she replies.

(The song 'Dancing Star' begins to play). "Oh, Darling! Let's dance," Lum says, with a smile. She pulls him over to a less crowded area. Lum and Ataru dance to the music. A man, wearing orange tiger-stripped clothing is eating the food whilst Ran holds his arm. On another table, Cherry and Sakura consume food equally as fast. Everybody in the room, if not at the table, is now dancing too. As Lum and Ataru dance, Lum smiles with delight.

-- Lum is smiling. "Today was… the best birthday I've ever had," she says before smiling even more. --

--

--"Well, it looks like everything turned out right in the end," Cam says, facing a door. "ZACK, OPEN THE #&?! DOOR!!" Cam yells before kicking it. Cam sighs. "If you're wondering how I managed to get from the café to Ataru's house before Lum, I ran… fast…" he explains. "You know, I'm not even supposed to follow them outside the school. Good thing I did or we wouldn't have gotten to see how this turned out... ZACK!" Cam calls. "I've got footage! Let me in!" he adds. "What's the password?" a voice on the other side of the door says. "Password? What password?" Cam asks. "Password, they gave it out at the meeting just a little while ago," Zack replies. "Dude! I was filming at that time!" Cam yells. "Can't let anyone in without the password," Zack replies. "If you just decided on it, nobody out here is gonna no the damn password!" Cam points out. --

_Higure no machi wa usuku kirameki. _

_Donna otoko mo yasashiku mieru. _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Kimagure na koi ja nai no yo. _

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo! _

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban... _

_Anata ni aeba "Besame te Quiero." _

_Yozora ni step "Ame Usted." _

_Sugu yoake ga kuru. _

_Ai ga kiete yuku _

_Sugu hitori ni naru. _

_Tada sore ga kowai yo. _

_It's not just my imagination... _

_Filling me with anticipation... _

_Come on, give in to the temptation... _

_'Cuz I'm the one you really need! _

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_Taihen… taihen… taihen… _

_DA! DA! DA!_


	3. Work it Harder! Makes Us Stronger!

Special thanks to sidzero and lum-chan of lum-chan(.)com

-- Cam is leaning against the wall in the hallways. "Okay so, every so often our crew gets a "Tech Upgrade". First I have to explain again that I was never supposed to leave the school grounds for filming. Zack, the editing bastard who won't let me in, made a fake episode consisting of only the school shots and presented THAT to our boss. Then he sent the REAL episode to air. Well the boss was mad but we got such good ratings that he's allowing me to continue filming outside the school so now, I'm permitted to film all of Tomobiki! And so… here is this week's "Tech Upgrade"," Cam explains. He pulls out a mechanical object. "My very own hover scooter!" Cam calls. The scooter is large enough to hold Cam and the camera on it while still being able to float. "This thing will allow me to get around Tomobiki much more easily. I have to thank Lum for donating the parts to build this. Also, I'll be able to follow her in the air because I can now fly," Cam smiles. "Enjoy the show, viewers!" Cam announces. --

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_taihen da! da! da! _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Itsudatte daite ii no ni. _

_Aa achikochi ni baramaite _

_watashi o nayamaseru wa. _

_Koi wa itsumo futari no mono. _

_Yume wa hitotsu Love me more. _

_Soo yo koi wa futari no mono. _

_Owari no nai Love me more. _

Ataru is reading the newspaper in his room. He's mumbling words while he reads. Lum is floating behind him trying to get a look at what he is reading. "Darling… whatcha up to?" she asks. "Nothing…" Ataru replies with barely any tone in his voice. "You're starting to look like your father, sitting there reading," Lum notes. Lum snatches the newspaper from his hand. "'Part-time jobs?'" Lum reads. "I thought you gave up on that a while ago," Lum points out. Ataru grinds his teeth.

-- "Yes, I am looking for a part-time job. I did have one job in the past but I had to quit due to… it's really not important… This time, I'm looking for a job for a few reasons. First, I could use the money. Second, this will be my last high school year and I'm getting the feeling that my parents are just waiting to get me out of the house. Third, there is actually something I've recently been interested in. It will take a pretty long time to save up the money and I'll need to get one eventually so I should probably start saving money for it. I'll tell you what it is but can't put in on camera. Lum would flip if she knew about this," Ataru explains. --

-- "What does he want to buy?" Lum asks. "Tell me… tell me, tell me, tell me!" Lum pleads. --

Streets

Ataru is walking down the streets with Lum, looking around while holding a piece from the newspaper. "Should be somewhere around here…" he says as he walks. "Darling, I think I found it," Lum says as she points him to a building with a wanted sign reading "Delivery man wanted". Lum and Ataru enter the building.

Inside Post Office

Ataru has been in the interview for about 20 minutes while Lum sits on a chair outside the interview room. Ataru comes out with a red swollen cheek. "Well, I didn't get that job," he says. "Interviewer was a girl?" Lum asks. "Ya…" Ataru answers, looking down. "I'm coming in with you for the next one," Lum replies. Ataru looks at the camera. "C'mon man, do you have to follow us ALL the time?" Ataru asks.

Classroom

"So, that's where Ataru and Lum have been," Megane says. "They skipped school just so Ataru could go looking for a part-time job?" Perm asks. Looking around; Megane, Perm, Chibi, and Kakugari are the only ones in the classroom. Chibi is tugging on Megane's shoulder. "Megane… today's Sunday…" he says. Megane is silent.

Streets

Ataru and Lum just walk out of another building, Ataru looking depressed.

-- "Six job interviews so far and so far, not one of them would consider hiring me," Ataru says, frustrated. He looks up. "Hey… how much does your job pay again?" he asks. --

-- Cam is now sitting against a wall. "So Ataru decided to try out using the camera and so far he's handling it okay," Cam says. "Damn right, I am," Ataru's voice is heard. "No, dude, you can't talk. The camera man doesn't talk while he films, it's a rule," Cam explains. As a woman passes, camera view changes to follow her. "Hey, babe!" Ataru's voice is heard. Camera view closes in on the woman's… figure. "Eek! Pervert!" the woman screams and attempts to slap Ataru. Cam picks the camera off the ground. "Zack, if you're getting this, cut this entire scene out," he says. --

Ataru, having been fried by Lum's lightning, approaches one more building. Lum follows closely behind. "This is the last job on my list…" he says as he looks up at the building. The logo on the building has a picture of a cartoonish long brown haired woman, winking, wearing a white blouse; a pink miniskirt jumper-style dress, with the waistline cut underneath the breasts; and a matching apron and standing next to a table with three dishes on it. The sign above the door reads. 'Anna Miller's'. "There it is," Ataru notes.

_Pa Pa Pajama Jama Da! _

**--**

_Tonogata Gomen Asobase. _

"Well, let's go inside and hope for the best," Ataru says as he begins to walk inside. Lum catches Ataru by the collar and pulls him back. "Even if you did get the job, there's no way I'm letting you work here!" Lum yells at him. "What's wrong with this place?" Ataru yells back. "Just look at their logo!" Lum points. "Yes, that's one of the reasons I put this job on my list," Ataru replies. Lum begins to emit sparks. "Lum! I need a job and right now, this is the only one left!" Ataru replies. He walks inside the building. Lum flies over to the window, to read the "Wanted" sign that is put up. She smiles and then giggles a little bit.

Inside Anna Miller's

The restaurant is pretty large, with mostly male customers at almost every table. All the waitresses are wearing the previously described uniform. Ataru exits the interview room. "Got the job!" he declares, with a thumbs up. He looks around to see Lum's not around. "Where's Lum," he asks. Lum exits another room. "Oh, Darling, did you get the job?" Lum asks. "Yeah… Lum, what were you doing in there?" Ataru asks. "Oh nothing," she says, smiling. A man walks out of the same room Lum exited from with folded clothes in his hands. "Miss Lum, I almost forgot to give you your uniform," the man says as he hands her the clothes. Lum takes them, still smiling and turns to Ataru. Ataru's attitude has changed completely. He is now trembling and seems shocked. "Y-You… You applied for…" Ataru starts. "I'm gonna be a waitress here. That means we're gonna be working together, Darling," Lum says, still smiling. Ataru slowly falls to his knees, still trembling. "Lum… no fair…" he says weakly.

New Day-Classroom

It's lunchtime at Tomobiki High. Lum and Ataru are sitting with Shinobu, Megane, Chibi, and Mendou. "I still can't believe you finally have a part-time job," Shinobu notes. "Big deal… Me and Chibi got part-time jobs at the noodles restaurant months ago," Megane points out. Ataru still looks frustrated and is fiddling with his lunch. "What's your problem?" Mendou asks. "Darling's just mad cause I applied as a waitress at Anna Miller's which means he won't be able to hit on girls," Lum explains as he pokes Ataru in the head. Megane and Mendou stand up. "Miss Lum??" Megane starts. "Working as a waitress??" Mendou adds. "Wearing a waitress uniform?" Chibi notes. Megane grins. "Chibi, go tell Perm and Kakugari to meet us at Allan's Mill after school," Megane orders, "It's called Anna Miller's," Ataru corrects. "Yahoo! Darling, that means we're gonna get to serve our friends on our first day!" Lum says with joy. Shinobu looks irritated.

-- "It's always the same. Whenever it involves Lum, the boys go nuts. Hmmm… maybe I should apply for a job there…" Shinobu says. --

Later-Anna Miller's

Lum is wearing the waitress uniform as she floats over to the kitchen. "Darling, is the order ready yet?" she asks. Ataru is wearing a cook uniform while preparing a breakfast dish. "Just a second…" he replies, angrily. Once finished, he hands the plates over to her. "Thank you," Lum says, smiling. She leaves the kitchen floating, and then stops to sniff the food. She floats over to a nearby spice rack and picks up a sample of spice. "LUM!!" Ataru calls after seeing what she was up to. "I just thought it could use a little more flavor," she explains. "Don't mess with the food. If the customer wants to add spice to their food, they can add it themselves or else they ask for it in the order," Ataru explains. Lum puts down the spice jar and then sticks her tongue out at him before floating away. She floats in a style that seems like rollerblading. Ataru sighs and gets back to cooking.

Lum serves the food to the customers at a table. At another table; Megane, Chibi, Perm, and Kakugari sit. Megane is clenching his fist in rage. "Megane, come down…" Perm says. "Ya, it's not your fault we ended up seated at a table out of Lum's section," Kakugari points out as he tries to calm Megane down. One of the other waitresses comes up to them. "Excuse me, can I take your order?" she asks.

Lum floats over to the kitchen door. Inside you can hear Ataru talking. "So, your phone number and address, please?" he asks. As Lum walks inside, she sees Ataru talking to one of the other waitresses. "Can I just, you know, have my order, please?" she asks. "I'll give it to you if you go on a date with me" Ataru says, smiling. Lum begins to spark. "Darling! Get back to do your job!" she yells as she shoots lightning at him. Ataru ends up having to make the dish all over again.

Lum glides over to a new table. "Welcome to Anna Miller's, can I—" Lum starts. Upon looking at the man sitting at the table, Lum recognizes him. "REI!?" she yells. "LUM!" Rei calls after transforming into a large tiger cow. He grabs Lum, hugging her.

-- "Rei is Lum's x-fiancé from her planet. Rei is ALSO a bottomless pit when it comes to food. But he still seems to have this obsession over Lum," Ataru explains. He's then silent for a little while. "Why are you asking about Rei?" he asks. --

Ataru runs out of the kitchen. "Oh crap!" he yells as he sees the tiger cow, Rei, disrupting the restaurant. Ataru runs back into the kitchen and soon comes out with a plate of food. "Rei! Catch!" Ataru calls as he tosses the plate at him. Rei lets go of Lum and catches the plate to begin devouring it. Ataru sighs out of relief. Cherry pops up right in front of Ataru's face. "It's fate!" he calls. A random explosion occurs. Ataru socks Cherry to the floor. "What the hell are you doing here?" Ataru asks. "I came here to eat of course!" Cherry answers, now sitting at a table. Sakura is also sitting at the same table. "Nurse Sakura!" Ataru chants as he flies over to her only to be kicked into the air and electrocuted by Lum. The manager of the restaurant walks up to Ataru. "Moroboshi… Who exactly is supposed to be paying for these three's orders and the damage they've caused?" the manager asks. Ataru looks around to see tables turned over, chairs broken, and Rei, Cherry, and Sakura scoffing down food. Ataru slowly falls to his knees. "W-What did I ever do to deserve this…" he asks himself.

-- "Well… that sure was a productive first day on the job. Now he knows how I felt on my first day here," Cam says. "Check this out," he says. He twists the knob on the door in front of him. The door opens. "Now I can show you guys what we do after filming," Cam says. He takes the camera inside and sets it up there. The room is dark, with the only light being emitted from the screens on the far wall. Someone is seated in front of the screens. "Say hello to Zack, our editing master," Cam says. "Say 'Hi' Zack," Cam suggests. Zack turns around in his seat to look. He looks rather young, like a child but with a serious look. He turns back to the screens. "Okay. That was Zack," Cam says. "Well, I guess that's all there really is to show you here… lots of screens… used for editing our show… Okay, hope you enjoyed the show," Cam says.--

_Higure no machi wa usuku kirameki. _

_Donna otoko mo yasashiku mieru. _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Kimagure na koi ja nai no yo. _

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo! _

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban... _

_Anata ni aeba "Besame te Quiero." _

_Yozora ni step "Ame Usted." _

_Sugu yoake ga kuru. _

_Ai ga kiete yuku _

_Sugu hitori ni naru. _

_Tada sore ga kowai yo. _

_It's not just my imagination... _

_Filling me with anticipation... _

_Come on, give in to the temptation... _

_'Cuz I'm the one you really need! _

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_Taihen… taihen… taihen… _

_DA! DA! DA!_


	4. Poverty! The Mendou Estate Goes Poor!

Special thanks to lum-chan of lum-chan(.)com

--"Hey, viewers! Cam, here," Cam says. He's in the edit room with Zack. Zack is quiet and working on the large computers. "So… lately the letters coming in to the staff are saying that we've been focusing too much on Ataru Moroboshi and/or Lum… Zack what's Lum's last name?" Cam asks. Zack doesn't reply. "Alright… Anyways, a lot of the letters, most of them female, suggested we should be showing more of Mendou Shutaro. So today's episode will be dedicated to all you Shutaro fans out there," Cam finishes. "Seriously, what's her last name?" Cam asks Zack.--

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_taihen da! da! da! _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Itsudatte daite ii no ni. _

_Aa achikochi ni baramaite _

_watashi o nayamaseru wa. _

_Koi wa itsumo futari no mono. _

_Yume wa hitotsu Love me more. _

_Soo yo koi wa futari no mono. _

_Owari no nai Love me more. _

Classroom

--"So you'll be doing a special on my life today? Well you have chosen a magnificent main character for your filming. One who is rich…" Mendou says as he smiles. "Handsome…" he adds as he graces his hair with his hand. "And powerful," he finishes right before drawing his katana and slicing the chair in front of him with quick speed. The chair falls apart into four or five pieces.--

Onsen-Mark is teaching the class. Ataru is trying to get the attention but Mendou is the star today. Onsen-mark swiftly turns, throwing an eraser at Ataru. "Moroboshi! Stop fooling around!" he yells. Ataru nearly dodges the eraser. Mendou smoothly laughs at Ataru's failed attempts.

Later, the bell rings for school dismissal. "How about I show all my lovely fans out there the Mendou Estate? I shall take you by limo," Mendou says to camera view, smiling. Ataru pops up behind him. "Why thank you! We would love to take your limo to your mansion!" he calls, placing his hand on Mendou's shoulder. "I WASN'T INVITING YOU!!" Mendou snaps. Lum appears behind Ataru. "If Darling's going, I want to come too," she says with a smile. "Miss Lum, of course YOU are permitted to join me in my limo," Mendou replies smiling at Lum. "Then it's settled! Off to—" Ataru starts. "MENDOU'S HOUSE!!" Cherry pops up out of nowhere, causing a randomness explosion.

Mendou's Limo

Mendou is sitting in one of the seats on one side of the limo while Ataru, Lum, and Shinobu sit in seats opposite to him. Mendou angers as Ataru sits between Lum and Shinobu. Ataru attempts to put his arm around Shinobu only to receive a punch in the face from one side, and a bite on the arm from the other. "Moroboshi! You're causing a disruptance in my private limo!" Mendou yells. "Well if you don't want me here, why did you invite me?" Ataru asks. "I NEVER INVITED YOU!!" Mendou snaps. "Young Master, we have arrived," the man in black glasses driving announces. After exiting Mendou's private limo, the limo drives away. "Let me start by showing you the main house," Mendou starts as he approaches the large door. The door is already opened and standing in front of it are three people. They are Mendou's parents and sister, Ryoko. Ryoko is slightly crying, wiping her tears with a handkerchief. Mendou walks up to her. "Ryoko, what-" he starts. "RYOKO!" Ataru calls as he pushes Mendou down. "What's wrong??" he asks. "Mr. Moroboshi… the Mendou family has… lost all of its money…" Ryoko answers, weeping. "WHAT??" Mendou calls as he stands back up. "Y-you… you-you-you-you-you mean we're POOR??" Mendou calls. Ryoko nods, still drying her tears. "HOW? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?" Mendou demands. "It was dear Grandfather's gambling… he lost every bit of money we had… Big brother I'm going to go stay at a friend's house, you should find a place to sleep too…" Ryoko says as she walks off. Two Kuroko are waving to her goodbye, sniffling. Shinobu walks to beside Mendou. "Mendou… are you alright?" she asks. Mendou's mouth is wide open yet he is unable to speak. Ataru bursts out laughing. "Hahahaha! The all powerful Mendou is now even more poor than ME!" Ataru declares, still laughing. Mendou draws his blade. "Moroboshi…" he starts. As he prepares to strike Ataru, one of the Kuroko takes the blade out of his hands. "Our apologies, but this doesn't belong to you anymore either…" he says. The two Kuroko walk through the doors and the doors shut, leaving Mendou outside. Mendou falls to his knees. "How… can this be happening… to me?" he asks himself. Silence falls on the four teenagers. "Does this mean we have to walk home?" Ataru asks.

_Pa Pa Pajama Jama Da! _

**--**

_Tonogata Gomen Asobase. _

Hallways

Mendou has been weeping in his desk for most of the day. He seems to want to be alone. The hallways are empty save for Ataru and Lum, who is clinging to his arm. "Darling…" she starts. "What is it now?" Ataru asks. "We're alone… so…" Lum starts. "So…" Ataru quotes. Lum closes her eyes and leans in. Ataru pushes her back. "Why won't you kiss me? You've done it once before…" she replies. "And what happened when I did?" Ataru asks.

--"Darling has really only kissed me once and it was when we thought we were alone and we were in a dark concealed place. After I convinced him, while we were kissing, at some point the walls had come down and we found ourselves surrounded by our friends. Since then it's been even HARDER to get him to do stuff with me…" Lum explains.--

"Darling, this time we're REALLY alone," Lum points out. "What about Cam?" Ataru asks. "He's not here," Lum notes. "Pfft. That guy is like superman, he knows when he needs to be somewhere. If he's not filming us now he's definitely on his way. That guy kinda creeps me out sometimes…" Ataru shivers. "You know, you're right… he always seems to be in the right place at the right time…" Lum replies, looking around.

Classroom

Mendou is sobbing in his desk. The girls of the class are gathered aside. Comments can be heard such as "Did you hear? Mendou has lost all his money!", "What? Mendou is poor?", and "Well he still has his looks right?" Mendou slowly lifts up his head. "My entire family fortune… gone… how could this happen to me?" Mendou says to himself. "Without my wealth… my dreams of getting close to Miss Lum are drifting further and further away…" he continues. "What am I to do? I'll be forced to live the life as a… commoner!" Mendou adds.

Anna Miller's

Mendou, Shinobu, Ryuunosuke, and Megane are sitting at one of the tables inside. "There, there, Mendou," Shinobu attempts to comfort. "Ya, man. It's not like your life is completely over. You've still got… well…" Ryuunosuke starts to think. "I've got…" Mendou repeats. "I don't know… Why'd you guys even bring me here?" Ryuunosuke asks. Lum glides over to the table. "Here are your orders," she says, smiling. "Miss Lum…" Mendou starts. He takes her hand. "After losing my wealth, I find it a great deed of fortune to be served by one such as you," he says. "Heh heh… that's very nice… I have more orders to take," Lum replies as she leaves. Mendou slams his head on the table. He looks at the plate in front of him. "So this is commoner food…" he says as he takes a fork and knife. "Try it, Mendou," Megane suggests. "Ya, you'll have to get used to this food eventually…" Shinobu adds. Mendou takes a sample taste of the food and sighs. "So this is the life I'm forced to live…" Mendou replies. Ryuunosuke angers. "Hey man, we eat this kind of food everyday! Are you saying our lives suck or something?" Ryuunosuke yells. "T-That's not what I meant--" Mendou panics. Meanwhile, Ataru is talking to one of the waitresses. Lum flies over, clamps on to him, and electrocutes him.

After the four eat, Lum and Ataru join them. "My shift is pretty much over so I'll go with you guys, I guess," Ataru says. "I just need you guys to pay then I'll be done too," Lum adds. "Mendou, pay the bi--" Megane starts. Ataru smiles and nudges Megane's shoulder. "Looks like you're gonna have to pay, Megane," Ataru points out. "Hey…" Megane starts. "You get Mendou to cover your tabs too, you know," he whispers. Ataru realizes this.

--"Whenever we go to restaurants and stuff like that, we usually get Mendou to pay for our bills," Ataru explains. "He also uses his family's money to take us to his private vocational spots… and any events we have to fund for in school. He even provided us with the funds to film a couple of student movies… I can't believe I'm saying this but… Mendou losing all his money sucks!" he finishes.--

Moroboshi House

It's night time and Mendou is sitting in the Moroboshi's living room. "Thank you, Miss Lum, for letting me stay with you tonight," he says. "Really, it's no trouble," she says smiling. "No trouble… it's more my house than it is hers…" Ataru mumbles. "Darling, I'm gonna go soon," Lum says. "Yeah, yeah…" Ataru mumbles. "You mean you won't be sleeping here?" Mendou asks. "Nope, I'm going to my UFO for the night. You'll be sleeping in Darling's room instead of me," she smiles. Mendou falls over.

--"Lum told me that she could let me go with her in her UFO tonight if I wanted. So… Sleep with Lum… Sleep with Mendou…" Ataru says, gesturing a balance with his hands. "Sleep with LUM… Sleep with Mendou…" he continues.--

"I'll just sleep down here tonight…" Ataru decides. "Did you hear that, Miss Lum? Now there's another place in the room for--" Mendou starts but is interrupted by a mallet to the head by Ataru. Somebody knocks on the door. Ataru goes to open it while Lum and Mendou follow. The man at the door is wearing a black suit and black glasses. Upon seeing Mendou he smiles and seems relieved. "Young Master! So this is where you have been!" the man says. "Weren't you one of Mendou's men in black glasses?" Ataru asks. "I am… ever since he was dropped off after school; no one has seen or heard from the Young Master! We started searching for him a few hours ago," the man answers. "Wait… why were you looking for me exactly?" Mendou asks. "Young Master, you are the son of the Mendou Family, why wouldn't we look for you?" the man asks. "But… I was told… Ryoko said… RYOKO!!" Mendou begins to get angry. "MY SISTER! SHE MADE THE ENTIRE STORY UP!!" Mendou yells.

Mendou Mansion Door

Mendou walks straight up to the door and knocks. Ryoko opens it. "Big Brother! What are you doing here? I told you we were poor now," Ryoko says. "YOU LIED TO ME! YOU MADE THE WHOLE THING UP, DIDN'T YOU?" Mendou asks. "Big Brother! How could you accuse your only sister of doing such a terrible thing? I hate you!" Ryoko calls as she closes the door, leaving behind an explosive as she does. Mendou is hit by the blast. "Ry-o-ko…" Mendou grumbles as he slowly gets up. "I'll get you for this…" he finishes.

--Cam is in the edit room with Zack. "Hey guys. I never met Ryoko so I don't really know her that well… Is she some sort of prankster or something?" Cam asks. "Anyways, I know I saw Mendou's parents there when Ryoko told Mendou they lost their money. I can't believe they'd prank him so Zack's looking through the footage to find some answers…" Cam explains. Zack is working on the computer. "Here we go… and there they are…" Zack says. "They aren't speaking… Okay, they're out of view and—wait, rewind that…" Cam says. "There! Pause!" Cam calls. In the still frame, everyone is looking at Ryoko, backs facing the parents. Clothes are being taken off. "Those look like the… Kuroko!" Cam realizes. "Well… problem solved… now get out, I've got some editing to do," Zack orders.--

_Higure no machi wa usuku kirameki. _

_Donna otoko mo yasashiku mieru. _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Kimagure na koi ja nai no yo. _

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo! _

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban... _

_Anata ni aeba "Besame te Quiero." _

_Yozora ni step "Ame Usted." _

_Sugu yoake ga kuru. _

_Ai ga kiete yuku _

_Sugu hitori ni naru. _

_Tada sore ga kowai yo. _

_It's not just my imagination... _

_Filling me with anticipation... _

_Come on, give in to the temptation... _

_'Cuz I'm the one you really need! _

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_Taihen… taihen… taihen… _

_DA! DA! DA!_


	5. The Deal: Can Darling Be Romantic?

Special thanks to Forgotten_Lum and lum-chan of lum-chan(.)com

--- Inside the computer room are Cam and Zack. Zack is, as always, working on the computers. "Cam here. I've been wondering about something for a while. Why is Lum so dedicated to Ataru? That guy is SO perverted and always runs away from her!" he says. "Jealous…" Zack quietly notes. "No… Anyways, they don't really seem like a couple I mean… have they gone on any dates? Have they ever even kissed? Have they--" Cam starts. "They've done all that…" Zack interrupts. Cam is silent. "Well… have they gotten MARRIED??? NO, they haven't, so there," Cam replies. "They're only teenagers…" Zack replies. "Look, all I'm saying is that I have yet to see them interact in any romantic way since we started this show…" Cam explains. "Okay," Zack replies. "Okay?" Cam quotes. "Okay…" Zack repeats. "What's that supposed to mean?" Cam asks. "It means Okay. Which, you know, sounds like I'm agreeing with you but REALLY means get the #$% out of my editing room…" Zack says, yet calmly. Cam slowly backs away. ---

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_taihen da! da! da! _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Itsudatte daite ii no ni. _

_Aa achikochi ni baramaite _

_watashi o nayamaseru wa. _

_Koi wa itsumo futari no mono. _

_Yume wa hitotsu Love me more. _

_Soo yo koi wa futari no mono. _

_Owari no nai Love me more. _

~Outside Moroboshi House~

"DARLING!!!" Lum's scream is heard from the window to Ataru's room. The next sound is the sound of electrical zaps.

~Inside Moroboshi House~

---Mrs. Moroboshi is cleaning dishes. "Those two fight pretty much everyday. Sometimes I wish I had never had him…" Mrs. Moroboshi sighs. "Every so often we end up needing to repair the house of damages…" she continues. ---

~Ataru's Room~

"Darling! It's the same everyday!" Lum screams. Ataru is on the floor, already electrocuted. "You go girl-hunting even though you always get rejected. Why do you even try to get dates with other girls when you have me?" she asks. "It's BECAUSE of you that I can't land a good date with anyone!" Ataru yells back. "Why don't you want to go on dates with ME?" Lum asks. "Because you never let me do things that **I** like! Maybe if you wouldn't always push me away from my girl-hunting I'd do stuff with you more often," Ataru replies, arms crossed. "Oh REALLY?" Lum replies. "Alright… how about a deal then," Lum proposes. "W-What kind of deal?" Ataru asks. "I'll let you go girl-hunting… FOR ONE DAY… but in return you have to do something for ME," Lum explains. "What did you want from me?" Ataru asks, nervously. "I don't know…" Lum replies as she floats over to look out the window. She then turns back to face him. "Surprise me," she adds, smiling. Ataru slowly falls on his back. "Surprise you?" he quotes as he gets up. "As long as it's something that I'll like, I don't really care what it is, but it HAS to be something romantic!" she explains. Ataru thinks for a little while. "One month of girl-hunting and it's a deal," Ataru replies. "NO! You think I'll let you girl-hunt for an entire month???" Lum yells. "Alright… 3 weeks!" Ataru changes. "Try 3 DAYS!" Lum replies. "2 weeks!" Ataru tries. "I won't go any higher than 1 week!" Lum finalizes. "Okay, how about this. 1 week but you can't be anywhere near me while I do it," Ataru suggests. Lum looks at the camera and back at Ataru. "Deal!" she replies before they shake hands to finalize the deal. "Yes! One week of girl-hunting, one week of girl-hunting," Ataru sings. "Not so fast, Darling. First you have to fulfill YOUR end of the deal and you've got 3 days to figure something out," Lum says, with a smile. Ataru stops smiling. He starts to think.

--- "I have absolutely no idea what to do for her!" Ataru says. ---

Later, Ataru is alone in his room. Ten slowly flies in through the window. "Hey, where's Lum?" he asks. "Jariten! Perfect timing!" Ataru calls. "What?" Ten asks. "Can you tell me something that Lum likes?" Ataru asks. Ten is silently staring at Ataru. "W-What? Are you feeling alright?" Ten asks. "I just need to know what I could do that would make her happy!" Ataru yells. "What the hell are you talking about? Something's definitely wrong with you today!" Ten replies. "THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!" Ataru yells. "Since when did you start wanting to do things for Lum? I know! You did something to make Lum mad, didn't you? And now you have to make it up to her, you know you can be really stupid sometimes…" Ten notes. Ataru hits him in the head with a frying pan. "THAT'S NOT IT!!! Just- NEVERMIND! I'll think of something on my own…" Ataru says. Ten floats around Ataru's head. "If you wanted to make her happy you could stop chasing other girls," Ten suggests. "NOT A CHANCE!" Ataru replies.

---"It's a lot more difficult to think of something than I first thought. It has to be something "romantic" but giving her a kiss is definitely out. I can't ask her out on a date because first of all, she's already forced me into dates and second, she is so expensive to take out. She always wants to do multiple things like go to movies, swimming, dinner, skating… she expects all this on the same date. The one thing she wants the most is marriage but that's the LAST thing I'm gonna do… She nocturnally shocks in her sleep so sleeping in the same bed is also out, even if she gives me that stupid shock-proof suit because I can't sleep in it, it's impossible to move…" Ataru explains. He repeatedly hits his head. "Damn! But I gotta get that week free… I've got to think of something that fits her demands but isn't TOO much such that it's too meaningful," he continues. ---

~Classroom~

It's lunch period and Ataru is still sitting in his desk, eating his lunch quietly. Shinobu is eating with some other girls. "Hey, Shinobu, have you noticed it too?" one of the girls asks. "You mean Ataru? Yeah, he hasn't even tried making any moves on me or ANY other girls!" Shinobu replies. "You think that he's finally giving up? That he's finally going steady with Lum?" another girl asks. "It's… possible… I guess… but what happened that made him change?" Shinobu asks. "Well there's only one way to find out…" on of the girls says. "Let's go ask him," the other adds.

_Pa Pa Pajama Jama Da! _

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_Tonogata Gomen Asobase. _

Shinobu and two other girls walk up to Ataru while he sits in his seat, eating his lunch. "Umm… Ataru…" Shinobu says. "Ya?" Ataru replies, appearing to be deep in thought. "What are you doing?" Shinobu asks. "Trying to think of something for Lum…" Ataru replies, still deep in thought. The three girls gasp. "Then it's true! You really have gone steady with Lum!" one of the girls says. "Wait… What? NO! I haven't gone steady with ANYONE!" Ataru protests. "But you just said you were trying to do something for Lum! And you haven't made a move on any girls all day!" Shinobu points out. Ataru is speechless. "No! You misunderstand!" Ataru yells. "We have to spread the word!" one of the two girls suggests. The three run off. "Stop! Damnit! Because of this deal, my reputation as the world's best playboy is going to be ruined!" Ataru calls.

~Streets~

Class has ended for the day. "Damn Lum… I've wasted almost a whole day thinking about this stupid deal…" Ataru says to himself. "I can't let this distract me from my girl-hunting. I'll just spend my free time thinking about it. For now, it's time to look for dates!" Ataru declares. He runs up to a passing girl and asks for her address and phone number. He is immediately rejected. He moves on to the next girl and gets slapped. Eventually Lum comes down from the sky. "Darling! Is this how you plan on fulfilling your end of our deal?" Lum yells. "It's because of this "deal" that my reputation is being ruined and I've been distracted from my girl-hunt!" Ataru yells back. "Fine! Just remember your deadline is one day," Lum reminds. "What? You told me I had 3 days!" Ataru debates. "Well now you only have one day left! So you better start figuring out your end of the deal if you still want that free week…" Lum points out, smiling. Ataru frowns and then Lum zaps the ground in front of him, causing him to jump back. "Remember… our deal doesn't forbid me from stopping you girl-hunt until AFTER you make your gesture," Lum explains. "Yeah, yeah, I get it…" Ataru replies. "Don't forget… something romantic," Lum reminds Ataru before winking and then flying away. "Damn her… And if I try to girl-hunt again now she'll reduce my time even more… There's got to be something I can do…" Ataru says, while he walks. He walks past a set-up table with a lottery contest set up. "Step right up! If the ball comes out is gold, you'll get a fabulous prize!" the man at the table says. Ataru looks at the table and then the first prize and starts to smile.

--- "This is perfect! If I win this then that will solve all my problems! It fits exactly what she wants AND it doesn't mean anything because I won it in a simple game. PERFECT! Girl-hunt week here I come!" Ataru says. ---

Ataru pays the man at the table and then spins the lottery wheel. The noise of several balls in the wheel rattle as he spins and when he stops, a ball slowly falls out. The color of the ball is… green… "Sorry, you didn't win first prize but you do get this coupon for Anna Miller's," the man says. Ataru falls over. "That was all the money I had on me…" Ataru says after getting up. He starts to walk away. "What about you, sir? Would you like to try?" the man says, looking at the camera. The man is paid and the wheel is spun. The gold ball comes out and confetti flies everywhere. "YOU'VE WON! YOU'VE WON! PLEASE ACCEPT THE FIRST PLACE PRIZE!!!" the man calls.

--- "What?" Ataru asks. He suddenly gets excited. "YOU GOT GOLD BALL?" Ataru yells. "AND YOU'RE GIVING ME THE FIRST PRIZE?" he asks. "THANK YOU! I OWE YOU SO MUCH!" Ataru calls, smiling and dancing. "One whole week free to girl-hunt! I can't believe it's actually happening!" he calls, still dancing. ---

~Ataru's Room~

Ataru and Lum are sitting on the floor of his room. "Well… is there anything you have for me?" Lum asks, excited. "Yes I do…" Ataru says, hands behind his back. He reveals two tickets. Lum takes one of the tickets and suddenly gets excited. "AHH! An all expense paid one week trip to PARIS! And it's just the two of us?" Lum asks. Ataru nods, smiling. "A trip for just us… Oooo! Us alone and no school or girl-hunting to disturb us," Lum says to herself. "Wait… no girl-hunt? The deal was that you'd let me go girl-hunting for a week!" Ataru says, suddenly upset. "Yeah… that week starts now. And our plane is supposed to leave next week," Lum explains. "NEXT week? Let me see that ticket. Let's see… today's November 21st… We leave on… 'November 28th'…" Ataru is silent. "You weren't actually thinking that you'd be allowed to do ANY girl-hunting on this trip were you? That defeats the purpose of a private get away!" Lum yells. "Damn…" Ataru replies.

--- Ataru has his hands on his head. "In exchange for one week to go out girl-hunting with no interruption from Lum… I gave her one week of NO girl-hunting…" Ataru says. ---

~Streets~

"Well I figured I mind as well take as much advantage of this as I can. Since I won't be able to girl-hunt next week I have to do TWICE as much girl-hunting, if not more, this week to make up for my mistake," Ataru says, breaking the fourth wall. Ataru spots Shinobu. Ataru runs up to Shinobu. "Hi, Shinobu! How about a date?" Ataru asks. "What? What about Lum?" Shinobu asks. "Lum? Forget Lum! Right now there is no Lum! Right now Lum means nothing! So how about that date?" Ataru asks.

---Cam is in the editing room. "You're probably wondering why I gave Ataru the tickets," Cam says. He is silent for a moment. "Anyways… Did it not occur to Ataru that… I was filming all his girl-hunting?" Cam asks. _**"Lum? Forget Lum! Right now there is no Lum" **_Ataru's voice is heard. Turning to the computers, Lum is watching the recent footage taken. _**"Right now Lum means nothing! So how about that date?" **_the footage continues. "Darling… Just wait until this week is over… First you'll receive your lynching and then I've got special plans for us during our week in Paris," Lum says to herself, smiling and sparking. Cam looks slightly frightened. "Yeah… Be sure to send us a post card…" Cam says. ---

_Higure no machi wa usuku kirameki. _

_Donna otoko mo yasashiku mieru. _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Kimagure na koi ja nai no yo. _

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo! _

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban... _

_Anata ni aeba "Besame te Quiero." _

_Yozora ni step "Ame Usted." _

_Sugu yoake ga kuru. _

_Ai ga kiete yuku _

_Sugu hitori ni naru. _

_Tada sore ga kowai yo. _

_It's not just my imagination... _

_Filling me with anticipation... _

_Come on, give in to the temptation... _

_'Cuz I'm the one you really need! _

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_Taihen… taihen… taihen… _

_DA! DA! DA!_


	6. No Lum or Ataru? Something Must Be Done!

Special thanks to lum-chan of lum-chan(.)com

=== Cam is outside the editing room. "Well, Ataru and Lum left on their one week get away this morning. Shutaro, Megane, and the other guys are extremely angry. I'm actually angry too; I wanted to go with them so I can get footage from their trip," Cam explains. "Unfortunately the priority is footage in Tomobiki but there was supposed to be new camera guys coming in a few days ago to help out and they have yet to--" Cam starts. "Hola, amigo!" a man calls as he walks in. He is Mexican and next to him is an American man about the same age. "What? Who are you two?" Cam asks. "I'm Carlos," the Mexican man replies. "And I'm… standing next to him!" the other man replies. "We're the new camera guys that are supposed to be helping out for the show," Carlos explains. "WHAT? WHERE WERE YOU 3 DAYS AGO?" Cam yells. He falls to his knees. "If you had gotten here just a few hours early, I could be on that plane with Ataru and Lum getting the best footage this show will ever have!" Cam wines. "Psst… I think the new guy is upset…" the second man says to Carlos. "I know! People of Paris…" Cam says to the camera. "Get out your video cameras… if you see an abnormally perverted 17 year old male and/or a flying teen girl with horns and green hair, and get good footage of them, you will be eligible to win a prize courtesy of the Urusei Yatsura Eternal Destiny Company. Send your videos to--" Cam is cut off. ===

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_taihen da! da! da! _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Itsudatte daite ii no ni. _

_Aa achikochi ni baramaite _

_watashi o nayamaseru wa. _

_Koi wa itsumo futari no mono. _

_Yume wa hitotsu Love me more. _

_Soo yo koi wa futari no mono. _

_Owari no nai Love me more. _

~Classroom—Cam~

It is early in the morning, class has recently started. Onsen-Mark is teaching the class as always. Lum and Ataru's desks are empty.

=== "They didn't tell us about their little 'vacation' until yesterday at the end of the day," Shinobu explains. "Lum clearly wanted to make sure no one bothered them on their week off. She told us that if she saw anyone in Paris she would give that person a personal lynching. This seemed to be mostly directed at Mendou since he is the only one who has the money to actually go to Paris on such short notice. He went anyway, actually… he left last night, and they would have left a few hours ago… We're expecting him back shortly," she continues. ===

Onsen-Mark takes out a book. "Everyone turn to page 45…" he says. Upon opening his book, he finds that all the pages have been ripped out. Onsen-Mark begins to anger. "Who did this…" he asks. Perm is trying to cover a smile. "I need to know who tore out the pages of my book… or I am going to lose…" Onsen-Mark kicks his entire desk over. "MY MIND!" he yells. At this time Perm has stopped smile and has begun reading his book.

=== "Since they told us, yesterday, that they'd be gone for a week, me, Megane, and the rest of the Storm Troopers realized that the level of mischief and randomness would decrease drastically. So… we started thinking of ways we could balance the scale to avoid universal destruction… That is our 'reason' for any pranks we pull today on Onsen-Mark," Perm explains, smiling. ===

~Moroboshi House—Carlos~

Mr. and Mrs. Moroboshi are sitting peacefully at the table. Mr. Moroboshi is reading the newspaper while Mrs. Moroboshi nits. "It's been so long since we've gotten to be by ourselves," Mrs. Moroboshi says, smiling. "It's so quiet without them here…" Mr. Moroboshi comments. "Indeed…" Cherry says, eating a bowl of soap at the table. A randomness explosion occurs. "When did you get here?" Mrs. Moroboshi yells. "I thought that because those two were gone you would have so much food left over so I decided to help you by getting rid of some of it," Cherry explains. "GET OUT!" Mrs. Moroboshi yells.

~Nurses Room—Andy~

=== Sakura is sitting quietly at her desk. "Is there something you want?" she asks. Silence goes on for a short while. "Hello… are you going to reply?" she asks. Again, silence for a short while. "Just leave…" she says. ===

~Nurses Room—Cam~

=== Much much later, she is tending to the wounds of someone, who is lying on a bed. The boy seems to have been electrocuted "Yeah, your new friend seems to be pretty dull," she explains. The boy is screaming in pain as she tends his wounds. "I don't know what his problem is but he basically spent the entire time just sitting there not saying a word and barely moving. When I told him to leave he turned off his equipment and then asked me why he had to sit there and not say anything and film me do nothing… I think you should let me do a check-up on him later…" Sakura suggested. ===

~Class Room—Andy~

The following is a previous scene. Without Lum and Ataru in class, the room is very quiet. Onsen-Mark looks very happy. The door opens and Mendou slowly walks through the door, wounded everywhere. All the girls gasp. "Mendou! What happened to you?" Shinobu asks. "Yeah, I thought you were gonna go spy on Miss Lum and Ataru," Megane says. "Miss Lum… wishes to be… left alone…" Mendou replies before fainting. Everyone is silent for a while. "Maybe we should take him to Nurse Sakura…" Chibi finally says.

_Pa Pa Pajama Jama Da! _

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_Tonogata Gomen Asobase. _

~Class Room—Cam~

Mendou, after being treated and restored to health, walks back in to the class room. "I have an announcement to make…" he starts. "Due to the fact that Miss Lum and Moroboshi are not with us anymore I think that it would be in our best interest to choose to people to be 'substitutes' until they return," Mendou explains. "Now listen here!" Onsen-Mark starts but is knocked out by the four Storm Troopers using mallets before he can finish his reply. "Interesting idea… who did you have in mind?" Megane asks. "Well since I was the one who came up with this idea I thought it would be best if I took Moroboshi's place. All those in favor?" Mendou asks. All the female students cheer in agreement. "Just wait a minute! Don't you think we should get a say in this?" Megane protests. "Ah, but it will be up to you to decide who will be my Miss Lum," Mendou explains. He gets close to Megane and begins to whisper. "We can all have our chance at playing this role. I'll take it today, there's no school tomorrow so it will go to no one, and then we'll decide who can do it on Monday…" he whispers. Megane begins to grin.

=== "Today is Friday. But… Mendou thinks it is Saturday, and in Japan we have school on Saturdays. So… yeah, I feel like chasing this opportunity," Megane explains. ===

"Alright then…" Megane agrees. "Excellent… Now we just have to decide on my Miss Lum," Mendou reminds. The female students begin to scream and fight over the role. Suddenly, footsteps echo from the hallways. Everyone stops making noise to listen to the footsteps. The door to the class room opens. "I will play that role!" Cherry calls, dressed in a Lum costume. The class is hit by a randomness explosion. "Like I was saying…" Mendou begins, after getting up. "We need to choose a FEMALE to take the role of Miss Lum…" Mendou explains. Suddenly, footsteps begin to echo again from the hallways. Everyone listens to the footsteps and the door opens. "Excuse me, is this by chance Furinkan High?" Ryoga asks. Another randomness explosion occurs.

~Outside the school—Andy~

The sky is bright blue and the clouds are mild. It is sunny and there is absolutely no one around.

~Ataru's Room—Carlos~

=== "The students at school are figuring out replacements for Lum and the idiot?" Ten asks, floating over the center table. "Since they left, I get this room all to myself," Ten says, smiling. "I'm in a good mood today, so I'm going to go help them like the good boy I am," Ten explains, still smiling. ===

~Class Room—Andy~

Onsen-Mark has been tied up and set behind his desk while Mendou takes charge. "Alright everyone, we have narrowed it down to our top three possible Miss Lum substitutes for this week. They are; Miss Shinobu, Miss Ryuu, and Miss Ran," Mendou explains. "We will make the final vote now…" Megane adds. "Hmm? Do you hear that, Megane?" Kakugari asks. A faint whistling noise slowly increases in volume. The windows suddenly shatter and through them comes Benten on her bike. "Hi, am I late?" she asks. "Late?" Perm quotes. "I LOVE THE SEA!!!" Mr. Fujinami calls as he rides into the classroom on a wave. This wave suddenly freezes, causing him to fly off and Oyuki appears. "Pardon me…" she says. "What is going on here???" Mendou calls. Ten flies in through the window, slowly. "I heard you were looking for replacements so I gathered as many people as I could find and brought them here!" Ten explains, smiling proudly. "WHAT?" everyone yells. Ryoko, riding on a toy horse carried by two Kuroko, enters. "Big Brother, I came for your little contest and I even picked out who can take the place of Mr. Moroboshi and be by my side," she explains as a third Kuroko pulls in a tied up Tobimaro. "Let me go! I never agreed to this!" he calls. Ran is feeding Rei food in his normal form. "AHHH! A MAN!!!" Asuka calls as she runs past them, knocking them away and any other man she happened to run into as she runs around the room, still screaming. Kurama arrives, with some of her crows. "Surely there's at least one man here that fits the Princess's tastes," one of the crows says. Sugar, Pepper, and Ginger have grabbed on to Benten's chain and are trying to steal it from her. Benten has a hold of the chain and is pulling it back. She pulls out a bazooka and fires it on the three girls. "Big Brother!" Asuka calls as she crushes Tobimaro in her arms. In all the mess, Perm and Megane watch horrified. "Hey, Megane…" Perm starts. "Yeah?" Megane asks. "I don't think we'll have to worry about tearing a rift in the universal dimension…" Perm states. "No… we do… just for different reasons now…" Megane replies. He slowly falls to the floor unconscious.

=== "Wow… and I wanted to go to Paris with Lum and Ataru…" Cam says. Cam, Carlos, and Andy are in the editing room while Zack sits at the computer as always. "Anyways, today was a very productive day. Carlos you were very helpful. Andy… you could use some improvement…" Cam explains. "Guys, I know you are going to think I'm crazy when I say this but…" Andy starts. "I think most of those people we saw were from another planet! They're aliens!" Andy finishes. Carlos and Cam are silent. "Umm… yeah, Andy, we already knew that Ran, Benten, Oyuki, Rei, etc were aliens…" Cam replies. "What? No I was talking about Mendou and Megane," Andy adds. "Oh geez… Andy, shut up. Zack, blow up the computer. I'm going to Paris…" Cam says as he walks out of the room. "Adios," Carlos says as he leaves. Andy looks at Zack, who is still on the computer. "Hi…" he says. "I'm busy…" Zack replies. "You sound like an adult… but you're little like a kid… Oh! Are you Detective Conan?" Andy asks. "Get out," Zack replies. ===

_Higure no machi wa usuku kirameki. _

_Donna otoko mo yasashiku mieru. _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Kimagure na koi ja nai no yo. _

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo! _

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban... _

_Anata ni aeba "Besame te Quiero." _

_Yozora ni step "Ame Usted." _

_Sugu yoake ga kuru. _

_Ai ga kiete yuku _

_Sugu hitori ni naru. _

_Tada sore ga kowai yo. _

_It's not just my imagination... _

_Filling me with anticipation... _

_Come on, give in to the temptation... _

_'Cuz I'm the one you really need! _

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_Taihen… taihen… taihen… _

_DA! DA! DA!_

BLOOPERS!!!

Cam is filming in the class room when Andy walks in. "Hi Cam!" Andy calls. "Damnit… Andy, you're not allowed to talk while we're filming!" Cam yells. "But I'm not filming…" Andy replies. "When ANY of us are filming, Andy," Cam explains. "Wait… why aren't you filming?" Cam asks. "The person I was supposed to follow wasn't doing anything so I left…" Andy replies.

Andy is filming the class room, turning, Cam is seen with his camera. He looks at Andy. "Damnit Andy! You can't let me be in the shot! Stop filming me! Turn your camera!" Cam yells.

Cam is filming and Andy walks into view with his camera. "Damnit Andy!" Cam yells. "That's it… I'm leaving, you can film here, and I'll go somewhere else…" Cam says.

Cam is filming Sakura while she treats Mendou. Andy walks in again. "Andy! We've been through this! You can't step in front of the other cameras!" Cam explains. "I wanted to see what happened to the barbequed guy…" Andy says. "Okay… here's what we'll do… You go outside, go out to the yards, and film from there. You can film the sky," Cam explains. "I'd like that…" Andy replies, smiling.

Andy is filming the sky. Suddenly he notices a bunch of people heading towards the school. "Hey! There are people! I… should film them! I could go down there… get some footage… and then everyone will love me! Especially Camera!" Andy declares.


	7. Aqua Godzilla vs The Obnoxious Rangers!

Special thanks to lum-chan and Shutaro of lum-chan(.)com

=== Cam, Carlos, Andy, Shinobu, Mendou, Megane, and other Tomobiki residents are waiting at an airport. "Okay, two weeks ago Ataru and Lum made a deal where Ataru would get to go girl-hunting for a week if Ataru did something for Lum. This something ended up being a one week trip to Paris for two which they left for last week," Cam explains. "I'm so excited! I'm finally going to meet Lum and Ataru!" Carlos exclaims. "Right, you two showed up after they left…" Cam remembers. Andy looks at the desk that is resting in front of the group. "Why is there a desk here…" he asks. At this moment, Ataru and Lum arrive and are walking towards the group. "Shinobu!" Ataru calls as he runs straight towards her only to be hit by the desk which Shinobu throws. "That's why…" Cam replies. ===

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_taihen da! da! da! _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Itsudatte daite ii no ni. _

_Aa achikochi ni baramaite _

_watashi o nayamaseru wa. _

_Koi wa itsumo futari no mono. _

_Yume wa hitotsu Love me more. _

_Soo yo koi wa futari no mono. _

_Owari no nai Love me more. _

~Ataru's Room-Carlos~

Ataru enters the room, throwing his luggage to the ground. Ten is on the futon on the floor, Lum is hovering behind Ataru. "Alright, everyone out, I wanna rest in my own bed for a while…" he declares as he lifts the futon from under Ten to get him off and then pushes him and Lum out of his room, closing the door. "Finally… some peace…" Ataru says.

=== "I'm not actually going to sleep. I'm planning out my next girl-hunt. Seven days, I spent there, unable to speak to another woman. I don't speak French and no one there spoke Japanese! Lum could speak a little French… I hated that… if I needed something from one of the hotel people; I had to go to HER first! I have to admit though, seeing Mendou get lynched was very amusing. But overall it wasn't a very thrilling trip for me…" Ataru explains. ===

~Moroboshi Living Room-Cam~

=== "Overall it was the most thrilling trip I've ever had!" Lum calls. "Darling couldn't talk to any women besides me," she says, smiling. "We got to stay in this romantic hotel and we went all around Paris. It was definitely worth the waiting for," she adds, still smiling. ===

~Following Ten-Andy~

Ten is flying down the streets of Tomobiki. "That idiot, Ataru… He didn't have to throw me out of his room," Ten says to himself. "I have to think of a way to get even with that jerk…" he says. He notices a small lizard in a puddle of water on the ground. "Hey there, little lizard, where did you come from?" Ten asks. He tries poking it with a small stick. "How did you end up here?" he asks. He pulls out a small box. "I bet you're hungry, being all alone…" Ten says as he drops a piece of food into the puddle which the lizard eats. The lizard suddenly grows to the size of a dog. In addition, its body takes on an aquatic appearance. Due to shock, Ten drops the box of food and starts backing away. The lizard looks down and eats the fallen food. Ten starts to fly away.

~Ataru's Room-Carlos~

Ataru is reading a comic book while lying on the ground. A flushing sound begins to stir. "What the…" Ataru starts. All of a sudden, Lum bursts into the room, grabs Ataru and flies out the window with him. Outside, the Moroboshi house, Lum hovers while carrying Ataru. At this moment, the entire area is hit by a giant tidal wave. "Would you mind explaining to me what's going on???" Ataru asks. "I don't know! I looked out the window and saw that huge wave coming so I came up to your room as fast as I could. Are you all right?" Lum asks, worried. "Yeah… I'm fine…" Ataru replies, arms crossed.

=== (Earlier) "Right after the plane took off it occurred to me… Dancing… that would have been a much much better thing to do than that Paris trip…" Ataru says, sighing. He flips through his note book of phone numbers which is hidden behind a comic book. ===

~Moroboshi's Living Room-Cam~

=== (Earlier) "There were really no disadvantages in going on that trip. We got to miss a week of school and by the time we got back Winter Vacation had started so it was like we get an extended vacation," Lum explains, smiling. ===

~Above Moroboshi House-Carlos/Cam~

All around, Tomobiki was flooded with water. About 10km away, a reptilian like creature, larger than the school, was emerged from the water. Two long tentacles, both aquatic. A long neck with a crocodile shaped face, also aquatic, and green eyes. This creature appeared to be fused with the water and was enormous. "That must be what caused the tidal wave! I'll give it a good zap!" Lum calls. "Lum! You idiot! If you do that, you'll end up zapping everyone in Tomobiki. On second thought… go ahead and zap it," Ataru suggests, hanging on to Lum tightly so he doesn't fall. "We should go to my UFO," Lum decides before flying him off. Once inside Lum's UFO, she makes her way to the computers. "We should be safe up here," she explains. "You have anything that can blast it?" Ataru asks. "Nothing strong enough, that thing is too big!" Lum replies. Mendou suddenly appears on one of the computer screens. "Miss Lum, I was hoping you'd be in your UFO. I need you and Moroboshi to come to the Mendou Mansion immediately. Me, Shinobu, and Megane will be waiting for you," Mendou says before the screen turns off. Ataru stares at the screen for a little while longer. "How did he get your UFO's frequency?" he asks, now staring at Lum. "I have no idea!" Lum replies. She presses some of the buttons on the panel. "There, now he shouldn't be able to do that again," Lum says, smiling.

_Pa Pa Pajama Jama Da! _

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_Tonogata Gomen Asobase. _

~Inside the Mendou Mansion-Cam~

The mansion remains un-flooded by the water. Lum and Ataru just arrive to a waiting Mendou, Shinobu, and Megane in a large empty room with 5 steel cylinders. "So what's going on?" Ataru asks. "As you have already seen… Tomobiki has been flooded. This was caused by that aquatic serpent creature that has emerged around the beef-bowl restaurant. It needs to be destroyed…" Mendou explains. "You've got an entire army to attack that thing with, why don't you use it?" Megane asks. "Due to the flood the Mendou Army's ground forces can't get near it… and our air forces don't have enough fire power to take it down either. We do however have something that might be able to work but this is why I required your help," Mendou explains. He presses a switch which causes the 5 cylinders to open revealing a uniform in each. "What… the hell… are those…" Ataru asks. The five teenagers put on the uniforms. Mendou's uniform is red and the helmet resembles on octopus. Lum's uniform is tiger stripped and her helmet resembles a tiger's head. Shinobu's uniform resembles a fox, Ataru's a rat, and Megane's a mole. "What the hell is with these costumes, you jerk!" Ataru yells. "These are skin tight rubber uniforms that are required for wear when—" Mendou starts. "Hold on… these suits are made of rubber?" Ataru asks. "Yes," Mendou replies. "Shinobu!" Ataru calls as he leaps at her. Lum unleashes a lightning bolt on Ataru, which causes him to fall to the ground, fried. "You liar! You said these suits were made of rubber!" Ataru complains. "Yes, the suits are rubber. The helmets are metallic and will conduct electricity," Mendou replies. "Serves you right!" Lum yells at Ataru.

=== (Earlier) "What the hell is wrong with you? No! We didn't do anything like that!" Ataru yells, angrily. ===

=== (Earlier) "I can't say I didn't try," Lum says before giggling. ===

~Inside Something-Carlos~

Mendou is sitting in a seat. The area is made for one person and there are computers and switches around Mendou. "Ready to launch," Mendou says. "Ready to launch!" everyone says through the communicator.

~Above Mendou Mansion-Cam~

Five areas around the mansion open from the ground and five giant mechanical creatures emerge. One tiger, one fox, one rat, one mole, and one octopus. "Mendou… why the hell do you have these things?" Ataru says through a communicator. "These are the Mendouroids. With these we can surely take out that water beast. Onward!" Mendou calls. The five machines march off to the flooded Tomobiki. The mecha-animals are so large that the water only went up to the knees of some of them. After approaching the beast, each of the five mecha-animals fire rockets at it. "Did it work?" Lum asks.

=== The smoke clears and the aquatic beast remains unharmed. In a fury, it unleashes a barrage of blasts upon the five Mendouroids, explosions everywhere. "Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap. Running, running, running!" Cam yells. "Cam, I don't want to do this anymore, amigo. Let me film from the outside," Carlos pleads by communicator. "Sorry Carlos, for the sake of the show we must devote ourselves to getting the best footage even if it means costing us our lives!" Cam replies. "Then you come inside the Octobot!" Carlos suggests. "Are you crazy? I don't wanna die!" Cam replies. ===

_Higure no machi wa usuku kirameki. _

_Donna otoko mo yasashiku mieru. _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Kimagure na koi ja nai no yo. _

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo! _

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban... _

_Anata ni aeba "Besame te Quiero." _

_Yozora ni step "Ame Usted." _

_Sugu yoake ga kuru. _

_Ai ga kiete yuku _

_Sugu hitori ni naru. _

_Tada sore ga kowai yo. _

_It's not just my imagination... _

_Filling me with anticipation... _

_Come on, give in to the temptation... _

_'Cuz I'm the one you really need! _

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_Taihen… taihen… taihen… _

_DA! DA! DA!_


	8. Mendoutron! It Came Out Of Nowhere

Special thanks to lum-chan and Shutaro of

--- Tomobiki is flooded with water and a giant aqua reptilian monster is emerged from the water, shooting in all directions. "It's me again… I have this strange feeling we're all gonna die…" Cam says. "At least you're in the air, amigo," Carlos calls by communicator. "Carlos is in the Octobot with Mendou. He, Lum, Ataru, Shinobu, and Megane are all in giant mechanical things fighting this monster I decided to call Aqua Godzilla," Cam explains. "They're called Mendouroids," Mendou says by communicator. "I don't know where the hell Andy is. Luckily, I'm using the hover scooter to take footage from above so I should be safe…" Cam says. At that moment a blast from Aqua Godzilla nearly misses him. "Son of Bitch!" Cam calls. ---

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_taihen da! da! da! _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Itsudatte daite ii no ni. _

_Aa achikochi ni baramaite _

_watashi o nayamaseru wa. _

_Koi wa itsumo futari no mono. _

_Yume wa hitotsu Love me more. _

_Soo yo koi wa futari no mono. _

_Owari no nai Love me more. _

~Above Flooded Tomobiki-Cam~

After the smoke clears, the tiger, rat, fox, and mole Mendouroids lay on their sides. The octopus is up and attempts to constrict Aqua Godzilla. Aqua Godzilla deforms into the water. "He's gone!" Mendou calls. The other four Mendouroids get back up. "Mendou! What the hell are these things supposed to do?" Ataru yells. "Maybe if you weren't such a fool you'd be able to handle such great creations better!" Mendou yells back. The rat and octopus are facing each other. They stare and stare until suddenly the octopus vertically swings one of its tentacles like a sword down at the rat which the rat catches with its two front feet. "Will you two stop fighting? That thing has emerged again!" Shinobu calls. Aqua Godzilla appears before them and blasts them down again. "Mendou! Your 'creations' suck!" Ataru yells.

--- (Earlier) "If you must know… There were TWO beds. I made sure of that, took everything in my power to do so," Ataru explains. ---

--- (Earlier) "We asked for a room and they said they only had a two-bed room left," Lum explains, thinking. "Then Darling said something about it being a relief and…" she starts. ---

--- (Earlier) "I saw multiple colors… then everything went black… Next thing I know, I'm in the room," Ataru finishes. ---

~Above Flooded Tomobiki-Cam~

Aqua Godzilla continues to blast the Mendouroids. "Mendou… there's a good chance we are going to die here so…" Ataru starts. "I wanted to make sure I told you this before we died…" he continues. "What is it?" Mendou asks. "I… I think you're an asshole for creating such stupid machines…" Ataru finishes. Mendou replies with another tentacle attack which the rat catches. "YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT THESE 'STUPID MACHINES' CAN DO? FINE!" Mendou calls.

~Inside Octobot-Carlos~

"I'll show him what these can do… Mendouroids! Combine!" Mendou calls as he pushes a button.

~Above Flooded Tomobiki-Cam~

The five machines cease their attacks and gather. The fox and the tiger transform into legs. The rat and mole transform into legs as well. The octopus inputs two tentacles into each of the other four Mendouroids. "BEHOLD! The Octo Walker!" Mendou calls.

--- (Earlier) "The first night was fine…" Ataru explains. "But on the second day she started to debate on why we should be sleeping in the same bed. I said there wasn't enough room and she said—" Ataru starts. ---

--- (Earlier) "We can cuddle," Lum quotes, smiling. ---

~Inside Octo Walker-Carlos~

Mendou, Ataru, Megane, Lum, and Shinobu sit in five seats in a control room. "Hey look, we're all in the same place," Megane observes. "Mendou! This is just a taller version of your Octopus Robot!" Ataru yells. "Just hold on for a second and I'll show you… Octo Walker… Mode change!" Mendou calls.

~Above Flooded Tomobiki-Cam~

The machine shifts, standing on the fox and tiger legs and the rat and mole transforming into arms. The octopus head opens up and transforms into the armored chest and also revealing a head. The new machine stands before the similar in size Aqua Godzilla. "This is the ultimate weapon! Mendoutron!!!" Mendou calls.

_Pa Pa Pajama Jama Da! _

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_Tonogata Gomen Asobase. _

~Battle scene-Cam~

The Mendoutron stands before Aqua Godzilla.

~Inside Mendoutron-Carlos~

"For once, I have to say that I'm somewhat impressed," Ataru says, now that their robot appears to have the advantage. Aqua Godzilla then blasts them, sending them flying into a building. "I take back what I said, you still suck!" Ataru yells. "C'mon, Shinobu, let's get out of here," Ataru says, pulling Shinobu out of her chair. "Darling!" Lum yells, electrifying Ataru via the helmet. Ataru slowly gets up. "Forget these stupid costumes! I'm better off without the helmet!" Ataru yells. Before he reaches to take it off, Lum quickly puts something on the back of his helmet. "Hey, what did you just do?" Ataru asks. "I super glued it shut," Lum replies, smiling. Ataru attempts to take the helmet off but fails. "This isn't funny, get it off!" Ataru yells. "Nope," Lum replies.

--- (Earlier) Ataru stares blankly at the camera. "What happens in Paris, stays in Paris," Ataru says. ---

--- (Earlier) "Something else? Hmmm… Well I did play a little joke on him, by disguising myself as another woman. And I did eventually convince him for us to sleep in the same bed," Lum smiles. ---

--- (Earlier) "That electric suit SUCKS!" Ataru adds. ---

~Battle Scene-Cam~

Mendoutron gets up and begins walking towards Aqua Godzilla. "Launch all weapons!" Mendou orders. The robot unleashes a barrage of missles at Aqua Godzilla, but for no effect. "Weapons suck, too," Ataru replies. "Fire again!" Mendou orders. "With what? We just launched all our weapons at it," Megane replies. "That sucks… Mendou what was the point of all this anyway? So far, your robot has done absolutely nothing and now we're all gonna die," Ataru adds. Aqua Godzilla prepares to fire a powerful laser at the Mendoutron. Just before firing, a giant mechanical robot pig drops down between the two opponents. "Excuse me, which way is the Tendou Dojo?" Ryoga asks from inside. Que randomness explosion.

~Inside Pig Mech-Andy~

"Hello? Are you gonna tell me which way I should go?" Ryoga asks. "How did you find my sixth Mendouroid?" Mendou asks, by radio. "What's a Mendouroid?" Ryoga asks. "Never mind, press the big red button!" Mendou orders. "Red button… this one?" Ryoga asks, pressing a button in front of him.

~Battle Scene-Cam~

The sixth machine self destructs, taking Aqua Godzilla and Mendou's robot with it.

Later, the five of them rest on the top of one of the ruined buildings. The monster is gone, but the town is still flooded. "You made us fight with a robot that was made of 5 different machines when you could have handled this with the robot that could have just beaten it in 5 seconds?" Megane asks. "Well… um…" Mendou tries to think. "We're gonna kill you…" Megane adds. "And I still can't get this stupid helmet off!!!" Ataru yells.

--- "Okay, you're sure about this?" Cam asks, holding a bat. "I'm sure, just whack as hard as you can," Ataru replies, still wearing the helmet. "Okay… ready? One… Two…" Cam readies. He slams the bat against the helmet. "Ahhhhhhh! My head! Damnit!" Ataru yells, holding his head. "The helmet didn't open…" Cam notes. "Son of a… Arg!" Ataru continues, before falling to the floor in agony. "Also the bat broke…" Cam adds, holding up the bat with the upper half snapped off. "My head! Someone get me Sakura!" Ataru yells. Cam faces the camera. "So as you can see, this helmet can withstand the toughest of blows. Your head absorbs all the damage and the helmet won't break no matter what," Cam advertises. "What are you doing? Help me!" Ataru whines. "The Mendou Helmet, guaranteed to not break, even if your head does. Buy one at a Beefbowl near you," Cam continues. "I'm still laying here… why won't anyone help me?" Ataru asks. "Only 19.99," he finishes. ---

_Higure no machi wa usuku kirameki. _

_Donna otoko mo yasashiku mieru. _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Kimagure na koi ja nai no yo. _

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo! _

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban... _

_Anata ni aeba "Besame te Quiero." _

_Yozora ni step "Ame Usted." _

_Sugu yoake ga kuru. _

_Ai ga kiete yuku _

_Sugu hitori ni naru. _

_Tada sore ga kowai yo. _

_It's not just my imagination... _

_Filling me with anticipation... _

_Come on, give in to the temptation... _

_'Cuz I'm the one you really need! _

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_Taihen… taihen… taihen… _

_DA! DA! DA!_


	9. Merry Xmas My Darling!

Special thanks to "oni," "cata," and "lum-chan" of and "Abarero" of

Also, I changed the way I'm doing "talking heads" to include which character is talking at the beginning of the segment.

--- Cam walks in. "Hello everyone! On behalf of the Urusei Yatsura Eternal Destiny staff, I'd like to wish everyone a very merry --" Cam starts. "Woh, hold on, amigo," Carlos steps in. "Carlos, don't interrupt the holiday message," Cam replies. "I know, but holidays can be one of the most offensive times of the year," Carlos explains. "How are they offensive?" Cam asks. "What is a holiday?" Andy asks. "You get presents and candy, and all sorts of stuff," Cam explains. "And what about the people who don't celebrate Christmas? And also poor people," Carlos points out. "This is our show, we can send whatever kind of greeting we want. Watch me. Ahem… On behalf of everyone on the Urusei Yatsura Eternal Destiny Staff, we'd like to wish you a very merry—" ---

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_taihen da! da! da! _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Itsudatte daite ii no ni. _

_Aa achikochi ni baramaite _

_watashi o nayamaseru wa. _

_Koi wa itsumo futari no mono. _

_Yume wa hitotsu Love me more. _

_Soo yo koi wa futari no mono. _

_Owari no nai Love me more. _

~Anna Miller's – Cam~

Lum and Ataru are both working. Shinobu, Mendou, and Ryuunosuke are at a table. "So tomorrow night, my family will be holding a ******mas party," Mendou explains. "I hope it's better than that last one…" Ryuunosuke replies. "I was hoping you two would both come," Mendou requests. "I take it you're planning to invite Lum too?" Ryuunosuke asks. "You know that she won't go unless Ataru goes with her," Shinobu adds. "Won't go where?" Lum asks, just arriving at their table. "Mendou's having another ******mas Party and everyone is invited," Ryuunosuke answers, before Mendou. "Everyone? So Darling's coming too, that's great!" Lum smiles.

--- (Mendou) "Just once, I'd like to be able to throw a party where I can invite Miss Lum, Miss Shinobu, Miss Ryuunosuke, Miss Sakura, Miss Ran, and all the other young girls without having to allow Moroboshi to come too. Is that too much to ask?" ---

"Darling, I'm just about done," Lum says, taking a tray from the counter. "Also, Shutaro invited us to his ******mas party tomorrow, won't that be fun?" Lum asks. Ataru smiles.

--- (Ataru) "While I don't like Mendou one bit, going to one of his parties means: Free food, free luxuries, and more free food," ---

~Tomobiki Streets – Cam~

Lum and Ataru leave Anna Miller's, both in winter jackets due to the snow. "Ahh, look how beautiful the snow is, Darling," Lum comments. "It's not that big of a deal…" Ataru replies. "Darling… what did you get me for a gift?" Lum asks. Ataru stops.

--- (Ataru) "****"---

"I can't tell you that, you'll have to wait," Ataru replies. Lum smiles. "I'll go back home first and get the room heated up, see you soon," Lum says as she flies off. "And THIS is where I take advantage of the time to get that gift," Ataru says, darting off to the closest store.

~Moroboshi House – Carlos~

--- (Lum) "And that's how I got Darling to buy me a gift," she smiles. "I left him alone to give him the chance to get something, too," Lum giggles. ---

Ten floats past the door to Ataru's Room and hangs a plant right above the door. "Ten, what's that?" Lum asks. "The moron's parents asked me to hook this plant up above the doors, they said it was mistletoe," Ten replies. "Mistletoe?" Lum asks. She flies down into the kitchen. "Mother, what is mistletoe?" she asks. "The mistletoe? It's something you hang during the ******mas time. When two people are standing under the mistletoe at the same time, they're supposed to kiss," the mother explains. "Kiss?" Lum repeats and then starts to think.

~Moroboshi House – Andy~

Later, Ataru finally returns to the house, with a shopping bag. "I'm home," he says as he walks in. "Oh, Darling, could you come here for a moment?" Lum asks, from the door to Ataru's room. Ataru walks upstairs and stops right in front of the door. "What is it?" Ataru asks. "Umm… come over here and I'll tell you," Lum replies. Ataru begins to suspect something. "Just tell me here," Ataru says. "I don't want to say it in here; it's… a private thing," she replies. Ataru looks in the room. "Ha! You're lying! Jariten is in there!" Ataru yells. "You're up to something. Why do you want me to go in there?" Ataru asks. "It's nothing! Look, just come hear and I'll whisper it to you," Lum replies. "No way! If you want to tell me then you come to me!" Ataru yells. "Ooo… Why can't you just take a few steps forward?" Lum asks. Ataru looks around and then above the door. "Aha! I knew you were up to something!" Ataru yells, pointing at the mistletoe. "Nice try but there's no way you're catching me under mistletoe," Ataru explains. "Darling…" Lum angers. "I'm going downstairs, humph," Ataru adds before leaving. "Just wait, Darling… I'll catch you yet," Lum says.

_Pa Pa Pajama Jama Da! _

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_Tonogata Gomen Asobase. _

~Mendou Mansion, ******mas Eve – Cam~

Mendou's party has already begun. Almost all of Tomobiki is attending, and everyone is dressed up. Ataru and the storm troopers are scuffing down food from the buffet. Lum approaches Ataru slowly. "Now's my chance…" she whispers. She presses a button on a remote, hidden behind her back.

~Lum's UFO – Andy~

Nobody is in the UFO right now. Why this area is being filmed is unknown. However, due to a coincidental event, this scene is shown now.

A machine appears from one of the rooms. It appears to be a flowing box with mistletoe attached to the bottom. It flies out of the UFO.

~Mendou Mansion – Cam~

The machine appears at the scene of the party. It flies directly above Ataru's head, unnoticed. "It's working," Lum whispers. She slowly approaches Ataru. Just before getting in reach, Chibi and Kakugari push Ataru to the side. "You're hogging all the good stuff," Kakugari yells. Now standing in place of Ataru, the box opens the sides and two mechanical arms reach out, grab Chibi and Kakugari's heads and force them together, to kiss. The two quickly push each other away, choking. "Wh-what is that?" Ataru asks, pointing at the machine. "Lum! Is this you're doing?" Ataru asks.

--- (Lum) "I made a robot that forces two people standing under its mistletoe to kiss," Lum says, smiling. "I also set it to follow above Darling's head," she adds. ---

"I see… so that's how it works…" Ataru replies, looking at the robot floating above his head. "Shinobu!" Ataru calls, running off. "Darling!" Lum yells, charging. "Shinobu!!!" Ataru calls, leaping at Shinobu who is on the other side of the party. "Get away already!" Shinobu yells, striking Ataru with a table and sending him flying at another woman. "Sakura!" Ataru calls. Sakura immediately responds by kicking Ataru into the roof.

Ataru lands on the floor of the party hall. Mendou approaches. "Moroboshi! You're ruining everything!" he calls, drawing his sword. "Mendou! Stay back! Don't come near me!" Ataru warns. "Today is the day I slice you in two!" Mendou calls, charging at Ataru. Ataru catches Mendou's sword and the robot activates. "You idiot!" Ataru yells. "You're the idiot!" Lum calls, electrocuting Ataru, Mendou, and the robot. The robot falls to the ground, destroyed. "Phew… that was close…" a fried Ataru replies. He looks up to see the angry Lum staring down at him. "Hehehe… would you like you're present now?" Ataru asks, holding up the gift bag. Lum, ignoring the fact that the gift is still in a shopping bag, takes the present and reaches inside to take out a yellow sweater. "You got her a sweat?" Mendou asks, staring blankly at Ataru. "It was all I could afford at the last minute," Ataru whispers. "I love it!" Lum smiles, hugging Ataru. "Merry ******mas, Darling," Lum whispers. "Yeah… Merry ******mas to you too, Lum," Ataru replies.

--- "Zack, I got you a present for ******mas. Hope you like it," Cam says, handing Zack a box. "Detective Conan… Season 1…" Zack reads. "Merry ******mas!" Cam smiles. "I got you guys presents too," Zack says. "Really?" Andy asks. "What did ya get us?" Carlos asks. "For Carlos, I give you courage. For Cam, a heart. For Andy, a brain. Merry ******mas," Zack says before turning back to his computer. "I hate you…" Cam replies. "That was so thoughtful! I don't know what to say," Andy says, crying. "Still think ******mas is awesome," Carlos asks. "Shut up…" Cam replies.---

_Higure no machi wa usuku kirameki. _

_Donna otoko mo yasashiku mieru. _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Kimagure na koi ja nai no yo. _

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo! _

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban... _

_Anata ni aeba "Besame te Quiero." _

_Yozora ni step "Ame Usted." _

_Sugu yoake ga kuru. _

_Ai ga kiete yuku _

_Sugu hitori ni naru. _

_Tada sore ga kowai yo. _

_It's not just my imagination... _

_Filling me with anticipation... _

_Come on, give in to the temptation... _

_'Cuz I'm the one you really need! _

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_Taihen… taihen… taihen… _

_DA! DA! DA!_


	10. The Evil Couple's Contract

Special thanks to lum-chan of lum-chan(.)com

--- "Happy New Year, everyone! Hope you are looking forward to another episode of—" Cam starts. "Cut to the chase already…" Zack says. "Geeze… what a grouch… Okay, roll film…" Cam replies. "Hold on! Almost forgot! We are obligated to inform everyone that someone will be leaving this show. Okay roll film," Cam adds. "Wait! Don't just say something like that and then—"Carlos starts.---

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_taihen da! da! da! _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Itsudatte daite ii no ni. _

_Aa achikochi ni baramaite _

_watashi o nayamaseru wa. _

_Koi wa itsumo futari no mono. _

_Yume wa hitotsu Love me more. _

_Soo yo koi wa futari no mono. _

_Owari no nai Love me more. _

~Moroboshi House – Carlos~

Lum enters the Moroboshi house, carrying a package. "I'm home!" she calls. "Yeah…" Ataru replies, lying on the couch in the next room. Lum smiles as she makes her way to Ataru's room. Ataru watches suspiciously. "What is she so happy about?" he asks himself. Up in his room, Lum is opening up the package while Ten floats around. "Sure took long enough to get here, didn't it?" Ten asks. "I know! I should have gotten this about a month ago. Apparently Earth isn't on the Space Mail's top authorities…" Lum replies. "Tell me more about the… what ever it's called. How many do you get?" Ten asks. "Just one," Lum answers. "Just ONE? Seems like a waste of money if you ask me…" Ten says.

--- (Lum) "I finally got a package that I've been waiting for over a month to get, I'm really excited. I had to wait until I was eighteen before I'm allowed to order one. This will help me catch Darling's heart," she says, smiling. ---

Ataru peaks into the room, quietly. "No peaking!" Ten calls, after catching the spying Ataru. "It's okay, I don't care if Darling sees it," Lum says. Ataru walks in. "What's got you so cheery? Package? You didn't order something that shoots and blows stuff up did you?" Ataru asks. "No!" Lum yells. Upon unwrapping and unopening the box, Ataru takes a peek inside. "A… sheet of paper…" he says, staring at the lone single sheet of thick paper, lying at the bottom of the box. "Not just any sheet of paper," Lum smiles. Before further conversation goes on, Ataru's mother walks in. "Ataru, we're be leaving now," she says. "Geeze… why do you have to go anyway?" Ataru asks. "I know you had your complaints… but if you can't last one day home alone then you're doomed for life. Good-bye," she says before leaving.

~Cherry's Tent – Andy~

Cherry is cooking soup while Kotatsu-Neko sits around the fire. "I sense an ill omen…" Cherry says.

~Moroboshi House – Carlos~

"Okay so what's up with the sheet of paper?" Ataru asks. "It's a contract. Once an Oni is old enough, they can purchase these contracts," Lum explains. "I see where this is going… contract with the devil… whoever signs it gets whatever wish they ask for, and then the go to Hell…" Ataru realizes. He snatches the sheet of paper from Lum's hands. "What are you doing?!?!" Lum asks. Ataru runs outside the room and downs the stairs.

--- (Ataru) "This is a gift from the heavens! Or more specifically, the underworld. With this, I can finally have my harem!" Ataru cheers. ---

Ataru gets to a table, pen ready in hand. "That moron… he's going to give up his soul just so he can have a harem… what an idiot!" Ten yells, floating above him. "Hold on… 'soul'?" Ataru asks. "Darling! Give that back!" Lum yells. She flies down and grabs onto the contract. "Hmm? You didn't pull away," Lum says, both her and Ataru holding the contract. "You're not pulling it away either… You WANT me to sign this!" Ataru figures out.

--- (Lum) "Drat… I didn't expect him to figure it out so soon… Basically since I own the contract, the soul of whoever signs it belongs to me and I can use it however I like. It is true, that most Oni's just use it to send the signer to Hell, but Darling knows I would use it to force him into marriage," Lum explains. ---

"C'mon Darling, just sign it!" Lum yells. "No way!" Ataru replies, attempting to rip the paper in half. "Doesn't work like that…" Lum explains. Ataru mumbles. "There's no way I'm signing this thing!" Ataru yells, standing up. "You can either sign it now for something you want or I can FORCE you to sign it for nothing!" Lum replies. "Go ahead and try! You won't force me to sign it. There's nothing you can do to make me sign this!!!" Ataru yells, as loud as he can. He then storms up into his room. "So that's how you're going to play, hmm? Only one way to deal with this…" Lum says to herself.

_Pa Pa Pajama Jama Da! _

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_Tonogata Gomen Asobase. _

~Ataru's Room – Cam~

"Hmmm…." Ataru reads manga as he lies on his back. "Hmmm… What is she up to…" Ataru says. "Who are you talking to?" Ten asks. "There's no way she was gonna drop it right there, but she hasn't come up to do anything for a while…" Ataru continues. He then notices a shadow on the other side of the closed curtains to the window. "Trying to sneak up on me…" Ataru says, getting up and walking to the window. "NICE TRY!" Ataru yells, opening the curtain and going for opening the window. The window doesn't budge, and Lum looks at Ataru from the other side of the window with a grin. "What the hell?" Ataru asks, trying to open the window.

Ataru heads for the bedroom door to find that it also won't open. Taking advantage of this moment, Lum opens the window to enter the room and closes the window again before Ataru can get out. "I locked both the door and the window so that it only opens a specific way. So if you want out, you'll need ME to open the door," Lum explains. "I see… and I suppose you won't let me out until I sign that paper," Ataru guesses. "Correct," Lum replies, smiling.

~Outside Moroboshi House – Carlos~

"We need to protect Miss Lum at all cost!" Megane calls as he and the other three storm troopers walk up to the door. "Ready! One… two… three!" Megane calls, right before they ram through the door to get inside. "Ataru! Where are you hiding?" Megane yells. "I hear something upstairs!" Chibi informs. "We've got him now… he'll have no where to run… HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Megane laughs maniacally. The storm troopers charge upstairs and head for Ataru's door. "It's locked! Kakugari notes. "Break it down!" Megane orders.

~Ataru's Room – Cam~

"Give it up! I'm not signing anything!" Ataru yells. At that moment, the door is broken down as Megane and the others barge in. "Ataru! What are you scheming in here???" Megane asks. Ten floats over to Megane. "Well… for starters…" Ten starts, and then whispers into Megane's ear. "WHAT??? ATARU!!! IF YOU THINK WE'RE GOING TO STAND BY AND LET YOU SIGN THAT CONTRACT YOU'RE DEAD WRONG!!!" Megane screams. "I'm don't WANT TO sign it!!!" Ataru yells back. "You're ruining everything! Everyone else get out!" Lum yells. "Megane! I got it!" Perm calls, grabbing the paper and running back to his group. "Hahahaha! Your plan has failed!" Megane calls. "It wasn't my plan!" Ataru replies.

Perm takes out a pen. "Now to make sure you can't use this… Request: Marriage to Miss Lum…" Perm says preparing to write his name on the contract. At this point Perm is immediately knocked out by a mallet to the head from Ataru. "Darling… you protected the contract!" Lum calls, jumping onto Ataru to hug him. "Hey! Knock it off!" Ataru replies, trying to push her off. Megane takes advantage of this opportunity to grab the contract and write "_Megane_" next to the signature section. "Hahahaha!!! I've done it! I signed my name! I get to be married to Miss Lum!!!" Megane calls, dropping the contract on the ground. "WHAT?" Ataru yells. Lum picks up the contract off the floor. "L-Lum… what does that mean?" Ataru asks.

"Doesn't mean anything if I decline it," she replies. "What???" the group calls simultaneously. Lum zaps the paper, causing it to disintegrate. "I-I thought you couldn't destroy a contract???" Ataru yells. "Only the owner can destroy it. And it's only effective if I accept the deal which I didn't," she explains. "So… does that mean the contract is null and void?" Megane asks. "Yup. Darling…" Lum looks at Ataru. Ataru nervously looks back. "Uh… yeah?" he responds. "Do you know… how much money that order costs?" Lum asks. Ataru doesn't reply. "Darling! I hope you're going to pay me back for that wasted contract!" Lum yells. "Hey!" Ataru yells. "See ya!" he calls, darting out of the room. "Darling! Get back here! You're going to pay me back one way or another!" Lum yells.

--- "That contract thing is kinda creepy…" Carlos says. "Back where I'm from, everyone knows about the "Deal with the Devil" story. Although it's not quite how it went with Lum's case," Cam explains. "If I had to sign a contract with the Devil, I would ask for my soul in return. That way, I can get what I want AND I get to keep my soul!" Andy explains. "Right…" Carlos replies. Ten flies by the room with a bag around his neck. "Hey, where're you off to?" Cam asks. "I'm going back to my planet," Ten replies. "Really? How come?" Carlos asks. "My mom wants me to come back… she wants me to start… kindergarten…" Ten replies, slowly flying away. "Oh… well good luck with that," Cam replies. ---

_Higure no machi wa usuku kirameki. _

_Donna otoko mo yasashiku mieru. _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Kimagure na koi ja nai no yo. _

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo! _

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban... _

_Anata ni aeba "Besame te Quiero." _

_Yozora ni step "Ame Usted." _

_Sugu yoake ga kuru. _

_Ai ga kiete yuku _

_Sugu hitori ni naru. _

_Tada sore ga kowai yo. _

_It's not just my imagination... _

_Filling me with anticipation... _

_Come on, give in to the temptation... _

_'Cuz I'm the one you really need! _

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_Taihen… taihen… taihen… _

DA! DA! DA!


	11. Happy Valentine's Day, My Darling!

Special thanks to lum-chan of lum-chan(.)com and Rumiko Takahashi

--- "Well it's Valentine 's Day and everybody knows what that means," Carlos smiles. "A show like this always does a special episode for such an occasion, so let me introduce you all to our Boss, Mr. UruseiNeo," Cam introduces. "Hello, everyone, I'm UruseiNeo, the writer of this story. When reading the manga of Urusei Yatsura, there were a few chapters that I liked that didn't get made into an anime episode. Today, I will present one of these stories in our story form. FULL credit to Rumiko Takahashi as this particular story was NOT made up by me. Enjoy this special Valentine's Day episode," I say.---

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_taihen da! da! da! _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Itsudatte daite ii no ni. _

_Aa achikochi ni baramaite _

_watashi o nayamaseru wa. _

_Koi wa itsumo futari no mono. _

_Yume wa hitotsu Love me more. _

_Soo yo koi wa futari no mono. _

_Owari no nai Love me more. _

~Classroom-Cam~

It's break time and everyone seems excited about Valentine's Day, especially the girls. The guys, not so much. Most of the girls give their chocolate to Mendou. Even Lum is making something. Meanwhile, Ataru sits back at his desk with a smile on his face.

--- (Ataru) "Why am I so cheerful? Unlike the other losers here, I'll be getting chocolate this Valentine's Day. I'll get 3 for sure," Ataru explains. Mendou barges in. "Surely no one is that generous," he says. "Wait and see, hehe…" Ataru replies. Mendou leaves. "There's Lum, obviously. And Ran will give me one for sure. Shinobu might be a little tough though so I'm gonna try to get one from her quick," Ataru explains. ---

"Hey Shinobu!" Ataru calls, walking up to her. He stares at her, smiling, hoping to get his chocolate. "I don't have one for you," she tells him. "What?" Ataru yells, upset. "You know Lum will just get angry," Shinobu adds. "Who cares? She won't blow her top just because of one chocolate. Even if she did, it wouldn't matter. So just give me my chocolate!" Ataru demands. Lum angrily faces away from them. "But I can't," Shinobu replies. Ataru thinks for a moment. "Ah, I get it," he says. "You do?" Shinobu asks.

--- (Ataru). "Shinobu just doesn't want to give me chocolate in the open. I'll just get it from her later," Ataru Smiles. ---

--- (Shinobu) "I don't have any chocolate left," ---

Ataru returns to his desk. "So you AREN'T getting three chocolate, huh?" Mendou pops up. Ataru stands up, smug. "Not gonna lose here. Just watch," he replies as he leaves.

~Outside Ran's Classroom – Cam~

"Ran's on Vacation??" Ataru asks one of the classmates. "She said she was taking the day to do something important," the girl replies.

~Ran's Space Ship – Andy~

Ran feeds Rei chocolate. There appears to be a mountain of chocolate for him.

~Outside Ran's Classroom – Cam~

"Figures… of course she'd be gone on Valentine's Day… Hey… Did you get something for me? Like, say, some chocolate?" Ataru asks the girl. "No way!" she replies. Ataru sighs. "Is there anything else?" the girl asks. "Would you get me a chocolate?" Ataru asks. "Forget it!" she replies.

~Ataru's Classroom – Cam~

Ataru is sitting in his desk. "Hey Ataru, you still haven't gotten any chocolate?" Perm asks. "I'm sure Lum—" Chibi starts. "Who cares?" Ataru replies. "Obviously I'm gonna get chocolate from Lum," he says. "I guess I'll just get it now," he adds, as he shifts from one desk to another. He holds out his out in front of Lum while looking away from her. "Whatcha doing?" she asks. "Just give it to me…" Ataru replies. "Give what to you?" Lum asks. "The chocolate you got for me!" Ataru replies, eagerly. "But, I didn't getcha one," Lum replies. Ataru falls out of his chair. "If he could be right even 1% of the time… he wouldn't be the perfect fool that he is," Mendou laughs. "I have to go back to my UFO for a minute," Lum says before flying off. All the guys are whispering to each other. "Ataru…" "Didn't get…" "A chocolate…" "From Miss Lum…" they say. They all grab his hand. "We feel your pain!" they call. Ataru yells at them to let go.

--- (Ataru) "I can't believe I didn't get a chocolate from Lum…" he says, shocked. ---

_Pa Pa Pajama Jama Da! _

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_Tonogata Gomen Asobase. _

~Outside school-Cam~

Ataru leans against a tree in the yard.

--- (Ataru) "So what… I'm a play boy after all," he says to reassure himself. He looks around seeing other girls giving guys their chocolate. The same situation appears to be everywhere. "That's Perm! Even he's getting chocolate!" he says to himself, quietly. ---

Ataru continues to sulk by the tree. Sakura walks up to him. "How sad… What are you doing here by yourself?" she asks. Ataru appears to have tears, which she notices. "Miss Sakura!" Ataru calls, attempting to embrace her. Sakura easily dodges, Ataru landing on the ground. "I'm a counselor. Tell me what is troubling you," she says. "Fast… "Ataru says quietly.

After getting back up, the begin talking. "Why is it that everyone wants chocolate?" Sakura asks. "For a man, it's a matter of pride," Ataru replies. "What does pride and chocolate have to do with each other?" she asks. "It's Valentine's Day!" Ataru replies. "Aha! Now I get it," Sakura says, looking at Ataru. "It's Valentine's Day!" she sales, Ataru falls. "You didn't know it was Valentine's Day?" he asks. "Is not knowing something supposed to be embarrassing?" she asks. "It's advertised on TV all day!" he replies. "I have no interest in such entertainment," Sakura replies. "Is that all that's bothering you?" she asks. "That's not it…" he replies. "Then tell me what's been troubling you," she suggests. "I don't want to talk about it. My heavy heart… Can only be lifted by you!" Ataru calls, jumping at Sakura, who again dodges. "When it gets to be too much for you, come and see me again," she says as she walks off. "Really fast…" Ataru says to himself.

~After School, Classroom – Cam~

"How do you like that? All the boys ran out on us and now we're left with the cleaning," one of the girls says. Lum is packing up her things. Ataru is ready to go as he watches. Ataru notices the chocolate that she has in her hand.

--- (Ataru) "That Lum! She said she didn't have any chocolate! Forget it, this time I'm not going to her. If she wants to give me chocolate she can come to me to do so," he says. ---

Lum looks around the classroom and spots Mendou. "Here, have a chocolate," she says to him. Ataru freezes. "For me? Miss Lum, can it be that you actually—" Mendou starts. "Any boy will do," she replies. "Thank you! I will savor every bit of this!" Mendou thanks. "Happy munching," Lum replies. Ataru sniffs.

~Ataru's Room – Carlos~

Ataru appears to be sleeping at his desk. "Lum… Lum you rat… Lum you rat!" he mutters. "Rats…" he continues. Lum enters his room through a window, carrying a jar.

--- (Lum) "Why did I give Shutaro a chocolate? It's not that big of a deal, I just had one too many," she explains as she empties the jar, small boxes flowing from it, each rapped differently. "Darling appears to have fallen asleep," she smiles. She begins staking the boxes according to what is on the rapping. "Won't he be surprised when he sees that I remembered!" she smiles, continuing to stack them as they start forming a picture. The final picture appears to be 9 by 20 boxes of chocolate that show a picture of a big red heart that says "Darling" in big letters at the top and "Lum" at the bottom.---

--- "UruseiNeo again, I hope you enjoyed this episode. It's one of my favorite chapters from the Urusei Yatsura series. Too bad it didn't get made into a REAL episode. "If you want to read the original chapter, check out "onemanga(.)com", go to Manga List, and search for Urusei Yatsura. The chapter is chapter 119 "Valentine's Deception". I took pretty much 100% of the lines from this chapter so I again give FULL credit to Rumiko Takahashi. I encourage you all to check this chapter out, especially the last page (p15/16) to see Lum's great gift," I say. "Hey, um, boss, you think maybe we could say some—" Cam starts. "Shh… Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!" I finish.---

_Higure no machi wa usuku kirameki. _

_Donna otoko mo yasashiku mieru. _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Kimagure na koi ja nai no yo. _

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo! _

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban... _

_Anata ni aeba "Besame te Quiero." _

_Yozora ni step "Ame Usted." _

_Sugu yoake ga kuru. _

_Ai ga kiete yuku _

_Sugu hitori ni naru. _

_Tada sore ga kowai yo. _

_It's not just my imagination... _

_Filling me with anticipation... _

_Come on, give in to the temptation... _

_'Cuz I'm the one you really need! _

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_Taihen… taihen… taihen… _

_DA! DA! DA!_


	12. The Great Housewife Contest!

Disclaimer: I know nothing about house wives. I took most of these ideas from common/clichéd scenes of shows. Please don't hate me and sorry if I offended anyone.

---"Today is the day! A special event is being held in Tomobiki," Cam says. "Yes, today a special contest is being held in the town of Tomobiki," Carlos says. "I just said that," Cam replies. "No, you said there was an event," Carlos replies. "You ultimately said what I said," Carlos says. "Contest!" Andy calls. "Shut up…" Cam says. "As for the contest, the title is "Housewife Off" and the winner gets 5 million yen!" Carlos explains. "First, that's a lame name… second, that's a not-so-lame prize, which I want for myself. How much is that in US Dollars?" Cam asks. "About Fifty Thousand dollars, US. Cam, why don't you explain how this contest came to be?" Carlos asks. Cam shivers. "Nooooooooooooooo! It's too frightening an experience!" Cam hides in a corner. "Alright… that was… strange…" Carlos replies. "On with the show!" Andy calls. ---

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_taihen da! da! da! _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Itsudatte daite ii no ni. _

_Aa achikochi ni baramaite _

_watashi o nayamaseru wa. _

_Koi wa itsumo futari no mono. _

_Yume wa hitotsu Love me more. _

_Soo yo koi wa futari no mono. _

_Owari no nai Love me more. _

~Ataru's Room-Cam~

"Darling, look at this!" Lum says, holding up a flyer in front of him. "What about it?" Ataru asks. "There's a contest coming up soon for wives to compete in," Lum explains. "And…" Ataru wonders. "Don't you think I should enter?" Lum asks. "Why would you enter?" Ataru asks. Lum stands up, angrily. "What's that supposed to mean? Dontcha think I'd do well in a contest like this?" Lum asks. Ataru thinks.

--- (Ataru) "I don't know if you guys have seen this yet, but Lum is a terrible cook. And that's putting it mildly. Her cooking is fatal to all who dare to eat it. That being said, her entering a contest like this would end is disaster," Ataru explains. ---

"You don't think I could win, do you?" Lum asks, angrily. "No, that's not it…" Ataru panics. "I'm sure you'd do great…" he adds, sweating. "Really? Yay! That makes me so happy! I'm gonna go fill out an application," Lum flies off.

--- (Ataru) "Hey, it's not like _I_ have do anything," he says. ---

~Contest Arena-Carlos~

"Why did you have to drag me here?" Ataru asks, Lum tugging at his arm as she takes him to the Contest. "The audience votes on some of the challenges so I need you to vote for me," Lum explains. "You're entering the contest, too??" a familiar voice says. Lum turns around and sees Ran. "Ran, are you entering this contest?" Lum asks. "You! Acting like you didn't know. I know why you're here, you're trying to take the prize from me!" Ran angrily yells. "N-No, that's not it…" Lum sweats. "Don't worry, Ran-Chan, I'll vote for you," Ataru says. "Will you?" Ran asks, sweetly. "Darling!" Lum angers. "What's wrong, Lum? Afraid that I might beat you and get that prize money?" Ran asks. "Prize money?" Ataru asks.

--- (Ataru) "If Lum won… she would get Five Million… which means that I would get the money too… Hmm… this is quite a decision to make… I choose money," Ataru smiles. ---

Ataru goes back to Lum. "If you won the prize money, naturally you would share it with me, right?" Ataru asks. Lum thinks, startled. "Of course," she realizes. Ataru smiles. Ran gets angry again. "Just remember who you're messing with, sister," she says, before storming off. "Where's the nearest pay phone?" Ataru asks. "Why?" Lum asks. "Cause we know five guys who would die for the chance to cast a vote for you," Ataru laughs.

--- (Ataru) "Hehehe… with Megane and Mendou's forces alone, that prize money is as good as mine," Ataru laughs. "It is strange though… who would give five million yen to the winner of a Wife Contest?" Ataru wonders. ---

~Contest Opening-Carlos~

"Welcome everyone! I am Ryoga Hibiki! I'm not really sure how I stumbled into this place, heh heh, or what happened to the original announcer, but I'm here now and I'll do my best during this contest," Ryoga explains. "That being said, let's introduce our contestants… wow there's gotta be over fifty of them out here. I guess it would take too much time to go through their names… So how about we move to our first round: The Sewing Contest!" Ryoga announces. Ataru and the Storm Troopers are sitting in the audience. "Hee hee, yes! Sewing is one of the things Lum is fairly good at," Ataru smiles. "Is that so?" Megane asks. "I know from personal experience, since she's made me so many sweaters and stuff," Ataru replies. "It sucks that she's up against Ran-Chan. I hate to say this, but she is generally better at earth traditional chores than Miss Lum is…" Perm sighs. "Say… since when were you so interesting in helping Miss Lum like this?" Megane asks. "What? I am always nice, can't a man be nice to someone else?" Ataru asks. "You're in it for the prize money aren't you?!" Megane suspects. Megane and Ataru continue to quarrel.

_Pa Pa Pajama Jama Da! _

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_Tonogata Gomen Asobase_

~Contest – Carlos~

"Alright!!! We've reached the final round of the competition!" Ryoga calls. "As you know, half the contestants were eliminated during the sewing round and the others moved on to putting their newly sewn clothes in the laundry. Unfortunately, one of washing machines seemed to malfunction so we had to cancel that round," Ryoga explains. "Yeah… because it was Lum's machine…" Ataru quietly says. Meanwhile, Ryoga went over the other rounds. "With only three contestants left; Miss Ran, Miss Michiko, and Miss Lum, we move on to the final competition: The Cooking Round!" Ryoga declares. Ataru and the others begin to panic.

--- (Ran) "Heh heh heh… HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Ran laughs. ---

"Now what? Lum's never going to win in a cooking contest!" Ataru says. "Let's calm down about this… All we need to do is vote for Lum's dish, right?" Perm asks. "This round is being judged by a taste tester, the audience doesn't vote," Chibi replies. The five swallow. "Miss Lum is going to be embarrassed in front of hundreds of people!" Megane panics. "We have to do something! Ack! They already started!" Perm calls.

The final three contestants have already begun creating their dishes. Lum watches Ran carefully.

--- (Lum) "Knowing Ran, I would have figured she'd try something… Sabotage, maybe stealing my recipe, something like that… but she looks like she's not even worried… I'm beginning to think she already ruined my dish somehow…" Lum explains. ---

"Contestants, time is up. Please set your dishes on the plate provided," Ryoga explains. Each dish is placed on a plate assigned with a letter; A to C, Lum's being plate C. The plates are then taken away to be tested by the taste judge. "We have to do something… we can switch the plates! Let's go, we have to switch the plates!" Megane yells. "Megane…... It's too late…" Perm replies.

~Later~

"The results are in… May I remind everyone that the winner of this round will be declared the winner of this entire contest?" Ryoga explains. Lum smiles innocently as Ran deviously grins, practically declaring her victory. "The winner is… Dish C! Miss Lum!" Ryoga declares. Ran falls off her seat. Ataru and the others sweat and slide forward in their seats. "That… defies all logic…" Ataru says. "She won… that's good, right?" Perm asks. "If her cooking was good, yeah. But if it's still as death bringing as ever then she'll never accept the truth…" Ataru replies. "But who could possible survive her normal cooking and also deem it the best?" Megane asks.

~Taste Judge's Room, during test – Andy~

Rei sits at a table, devouring the three dishes one at a time. Upon finishing the last dish, Rei expands into his cow form.

~Walking Home-Cam~

"So… you won…" Ataru says. "I'm so happy! I've never won a contest like this. I can't wait to make my special contest winning dish for you later," Lum smiles. "So, Five Million Yen, that's quite a lot of money," Ataru grins. He reaches to take the bundle of cash from Lum's hands, but she pulls away. Ataru continuously tries to take it from her. "Hey! You said you were going to share it!" Ataru yells. "I am. This money is going into a special wedding fund account," Lum explains. "What??" Ataru complains. "We'll use this money to pay for any couple expenses, like our wedding, our first house, ~" Lum continues to list things. Ataru's posture worsens. "Lum… No fair…" Ataru cries.

--- "Someone is going to have to explain to me what happened at the end of the contest," Carlos pleads. "Ah, newbie, if you've been here as long as I have you would understand it perfectly!" Cam stands proud. "I know what happened! Lum won the contest!!!" Andy calls. "He means why it happened, dummy…" Cam replies. "Anyways, Rei is an Oni too and Lum's cooking is basically Oni cooking so ANY Oni can eat it. It probably even helped her since it would be Rei's home planet food," Cam explains. "Ooooooh… So what's an Oni?" Carlos asks. "You... but I thought…" Cam stumbles, thinking Carlos already knew this much. "Are you guys gonna get ready? Next week is Ataru's birthday and you better get me some good footage," Zack orders. ---

_Higure no machi wa usuku kirameki. _

_Donna otoko mo yasashiku mieru. _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Kimagure na koi ja nai no yo. _

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo! _

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban... _

_Anata ni aeba "Besame te Quiero." _

_Yozora ni step "Ame Usted." _

_Sugu yoake ga kuru. _

_Ai ga kiete yuku _

_Sugu hitori ni naru. _

_Tada sore ga kowai yo. _

_It's not just my imagination... _

_Filling me with anticipation... _

_Come on, give in to the temptation... _

_'Cuz I'm the one you really need! _

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_Taihen… taihen… taihen… _

_DA! DA! DA!_


	13. Darling's Coming of Age!

--- "Today, is Ataru's birthday. And we're getting our equipment ready so we can get good footage of the event," Cam smiles. "Isn't it kinda unlucky to have a birthday on the 13th? Unlucky number 13…" Carlos points out. "Yeah…." Cam replies. "Oh! And this is our 13th episode too!" Carlos gasps. "I get it… it's very conspicuous, I'm sure…" Cam replies. "And Zack is 13 years old!" Carlos adds. "Yeah I- Wait, what?" Cam asks. "Dude, you're 13? No wonder you're so short," Cam says. "If you want to talk about the number 13, how about we talk about the number of seconds you have to get going before your *** is fired?" Zack asks. "Going!" Cam and Carlos reply, running off. ---

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_taihen da! da! da! _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Itsudatte daite ii no ni. _

_Aa achikochi ni baramaite _

_watashi o nayamaseru wa. _

_Koi wa itsumo futari no mono. _

_Yume wa hitotsu Love me more. _

_Soo yo koi wa futari no mono. _

_Owari no nai Love me more. _

~Ataru's Room – Carlos~

--- (Ataru) "*yawn* Do you guys really need to do this in the morning?" Ataru asks, just getting out of bed. "So… today's my birthday," Ataru smiles. "And if I know Lum, she'll probably have something special planned, hehehe… She tell you anything?" Ataru asks, expectingly. "Oh! I almost forgot. Remember that thing I mentioned… a few months ago?" Ataru asks.

(From Episode 3: --- (Ataru) "Third, there is actually something I've recently been interested in. It will take a pretty long time to save up the money and I'll need to get one eventually so I should probably start saving money for it. I'll tell you what it is but can't put in on camera. Lum would flip if she knew about this," Ataru explains. --- )

"Well… I think I finally saved up enough… I plan on announcing it today during my party," Ataru smiles. "This is our little secret, heh heh…" ---

Ataru sits impatiently at his desk. "You'd think she would have woken up by now… the sooner she gets up, the sooner I get my presents," Ataru says to himself. He gets up. "Unless she got up early… heh heh…" Ataru adds, walking to the closet door. "That's it, she got up early to get my Birthday party ready and--" Ataru stops, upon looking inside. "She's- grh… She's still asleep!" Ataru tries to whisper. "Well if that's how she's gonna be, I'm going out," Ataru says, grabbing a notebook and pen.

~Streets – Cam~

Ataru ping pongs from girl to girl, asking for phone numbers and occasionally trying to use his birthday as an excuse to talk to them. After being slapped by another girl, Ataru sits down on a side bench to rest. "Before this day is done, I'm going make Lum regret—" Ataru stops, looking up. Lum is flying over the town. "Damn! I still have more than half the town to go through and she chooses to get up NOW? I barely got started!" Ataru says to himself, trying to hide under the bench from Lum. Upon closer observation, Lum appears to be carrying a gift. Ataru smiles. "Now's my chance. Lum! Down here!" Ataru calls, trying to get her attention. Lum continues to fly off, not noticing Ataru in the least. Ataru angers. "Why… that…" he growls. Ataru runs off, heading towards his house.

~Moroboshi House – Carlos~

Ataru arrives, hurryingly, to his house moments after Lum enters his room through the window. "Damn Lum… I bet she's doing all this on purpose…" Ataru says, breathing heavily. He enters the door to see Lum waiting for him. "Lum! Do you know what today is???" Ataru yells. "Today? Is there something special about today?" Lum asks. "Or is it that you set a new record for girl hunting?" Lum adds, taking a step closer to Ataru. "D-don't change the subject! Don't tell me you forgot…" Ataru yells. "Forgot… this?" Lum asks, taking out a colorful object. The object sprays confetti over Ataru's face and Lum begins to laugh. "Happy Birthday, Darling," Lum smiles. "Haha… very funny…" Ataru sighs.

Ataru's birthday party sets off. School friends and family celebrate 18 terrible years of Ataru's life. With Lum present, Megane and Mendou are on their best behaviour, despite occasionally trying to attack him while Lum looks away. The day passes and after long hours of partying, Ataru stands up to declare a message. "It's time announced this. I've been saving up money for a while now and I've finally earned enough to move forward," Ataru explains. "Darling, what's this all about?" Lum asks. "I… am moving out!" Ataru declares.

_Pa Pa Pajama Jama Da! _

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_Tonogata Gomen Asobase_

~Ataru's Room – Carlos~

Ataru is packing his things into bags and gathering them in his room. "Darling… Why are you doing this?" Lum asks. "I told you before… Every man must learn to live on his own… I need to do this," Ataru explains. "But you can't just leave me! Why can't I go live with you?" Lum asks, weeping. "It's not like you won't see me…" Ataru replies. "You… you just want to be able to go around flirting with girls without me being able to keep an eye on you…" Lum weeps. "Of course not! What kind of person do you think I am?" Ataru asks.

--- (Ataru) "Yeah, that was one of the reasons," Ataru says. ---

"Well, I'm all packed so it's time for me to go," Ataru says, standing up. Lum stands up as well. "Fine! Go, then…" Lum yells, before flying out the window. Ataru sighs. "I'll pay for that later…" he says to himself.

~Shiroku Appartments – Andy~

Ataru arrives and, having already bought the keys to apartment 13, makes his way to his new room. "This is going to be perfect! No Lum, no obstacles, heh heh heh…" Ataru laughs, entering his room. His room consists of a single room, not counting the bathroom and closet. His bed is to the back left corner and the bathroom is just to the right of the entrance. "Not much, but it'll do for now," Ataru says to himself. Ataru sits down on his bed to rest. He then sees moving people, carrying boxes, walk past his room. "Looks like I'm not the only one moving in today," Ataru says. One of the boxes being carried by is labeled "Cosmetics" and Ataru jumps up. "Yes! A woman! Time to get the new hunt rolling," Ataru says, gathering his notebook and pen.

Exiting his room, the boxes seem to belong to the owner of the room next to his, room 11. Ataru strolls over to peek into the room. "No way… it couldn't be…" Ataru says to himself. The room is much more luxurious than Ataru's. Having a main bedroom, a bathroom, and a living room separate to the main room you enter in, Ataru also notices a certain tiger striped floor mat on the ground. "Nah… I'm sure lots of people have…" Ataru tries to convince himself. "Darling! You're here!" Lum's voice calls from behind. "It is…" Ataru sighs. Lum walks up the hallway with some baggage. "Look, I bought and apartment too! I specifically asked for a room next to yours so I could visit you everyday! This was the only one available at the time," Lum smiles, excited. "How? How did you manage to buy an apartment like this?? You don't make any more money than I do!" Ataru asks. "I thought this would be a fair reason to dip into the fund I made with the money I won from that contest. After all, this will bring us closer together," Lum smiles. "That money… so you're going to be living next to me…" Ataru repeats, ready to fall over. "You were right, Darling. Buying and living in an apartment is going to be so much fun! And now that we're living outside of your parents house--" Lum starts. "Don't say it! *sigh* What have I done…" Ataru falls to his knees.

--- "Ataru's room is 13, his room is THIRTEEN!" Carlos yells. "Yes, we get it, Ataru must be very unlucky, what was your first clue?" Cam asks. "Seriously though, I'm glad I wasn't the one filming when Lum jumped in with her own apartment, I probably would have laughed," Carlos says. "So now they're living on their own…" Cam thinks. "Hey chika bum bum," Andy replies. "It's "Bow chicka wow wow" and I doubt something like that is going to happen soon…" Cam replies. "Wait… does this situation make them closer? Or more distant?" Carlos asks. The three of them try to think. ---

_Higure no machi wa usuku kirameki. _

_Donna otoko mo yasashiku mieru. _

_Suki na no wa anata hitori yo. _

_Kimagure na koi ja nai no yo. _

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo! _

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban... _

_Anata ni aeba "Besame te Quiero." _

_Yozora ni step "Ame Usted." _

_Sugu yoake ga kuru. _

_Ai ga kiete yuku _

_Sugu hitori ni naru. _

_Tada sore ga kowai yo. _

_It's not just my imagination... _

_Filling me with anticipation... _

_Come on, give in to the temptation... _

_'Cuz I'm the one you really need! _

_Hen to hen o atsumete _

_motto hen ni shimashoo. _

_Hen na hen na uchuu wa _

_Taihen… taihen… taihen… _

_DA! DA! DA!_


End file.
